#I’m getting old I don’t like deleting accounts anymore

[nnight-dances]

REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

[salemlunaa]

ꨄ OUT WITH ALL THIS DRAMA ꨄ

let’s leave this shit once and for all

i feel like i’ve seen so much drama on my timeline this week when i don’t see that i’ll see people complaining about the drama or feeling discouraged. There have been so many losers prepping out of the cracks to start drama.

And i just wanted to say shit doesn’t have to be bad if we choose to make it good

To my lovely bloggers and to those who are just in the community, let the haters talk to themselves. Utilise that block button and that “delete reply button”. Blocking doesn’t mean they won and that you’re scared, it doesn’t validate their suspicions.

You know who you are

You don’t owe anyone shit

Those who make a whole account to expose people when they haven’t manifested their dream lives is dumb asf. And it will show when they’re still here in 2027 still holding their conspiracy theories under their belt along with misery and “proof”. And it will DEFINITELY show when it’s all said and done and they have more exposing posts on others than they do success stories.

And they’ll be the same ones talking about how they miss the “old loa tumblr with the lack of drama” yet you’re bringing the drama? That’s like saying “i miss my red nails” and then painting them blue every time i get them done. It makes no sense. The same ones who are obsessed with talking about how drama free the old loa/void tumblr was are the same ones indulging in the drama. Let them parade around the old loa/voidblr they loved so much and the “peaceful environment” it says a lot about the fact that they are actively contradicting the peace which they once loved so much

∘˚ 𖦹𓏲 ⌨️ 𓆸 ∘˚

Personally? All i’ll say is making a whole tumblr page dedicated to a coke rant is insane 💀💀.

Protect your peace and block, delete that reply, delete those asks don’t give them your time of day.

Every community has its ups and downs but: THIS PLACE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE TOXIC IF YOU LOOK AWAY

Look away from them and let’s focus on what we’ve always been focused on, uplifting each other, sharing success, having fun. Let them talk to themselves and validate each other in these delusions, they’ll be in their sad corner like

“THEY BLOCKED ME, THEY CONFIRMED MY SUSPICIONS, IM RIGHT AHD THEYRE SO SCARED”

anyway…

You don’t owe anyone pictures

You don’t owe anyone a response or a conversation

Share that success story, you deserve to share it.

You know who you are, you are “I AM” and you NEVER have to prove yourself.

Yes there are liars out there, i’m not stupid. But what these people don’t understand is that they’re discouraging people who actually have successes from sharing because they don’t want to be harassed for pictures they don’t want to share.

And to those feeling discouraged, just know that some people are really bored, this is all they have going for them. 2025 is the year where you’re gonna get everything, lets focus on that, apply, remember you already have everything you want. Don’t let weirdos brake your confidence.

The drama is non existent anymore, if we look away and take our awareness away from them: they don’t exist.

Being this community i think we all know by now that life is what you make of it, literally. So just know this community can be fun if we make it so!!

ꨄ OUT WITH THE DRAMA AND IN WITH THE LEVELLING UP PLEASE ꨄ

hope everyone’s doing well, let’s get back on track

[yamumsyadadd]

the forgotten girl (12)

originally posted on my old account, re uploading twice weekly :) I accidentally just deleted this, so here’s a re post. The next chapter will be tomorrow!

The days resumed as normal. Leah stayed for a few days, making sure I was okay. Keira was there everyday, Claudia and Patri would come for a few hours too, but the one person that I wanted to have there, stopped talking to me. After a week, I was fed up.

It was on a Tuesday, after coffee with Alba, that I truly lost it. Almost 10 days had passed and no matter how many times I rang or texted, Alexia wouldn’t answer. 

“Why is your sister such a pain in my ass?” I huffed as I sat down. 

“Well good morning to you gorgeous. Here’s your coffee.” She slid over a steaming cup, “what did she do this time?” 

“More like what she didn’t do.” 

“Okay I’ll bite. Continue.” 

“I told her I loved her too, she stayed the night and then we had a moment at the beach. I thought something was going to happen, and now she won’t even talk to me. At training, in the locker room, hell even at the game she barely spoke to me or came near me. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” 

“Hold on! You love her?” Alba was shocked. 

“Yes Alba. Catch up please.” 

“Jesus Christ. Okay, I’m supposed to go over for dinner tonight. You will go instead.”

“That’s a horrible plan.” 

“What’s the worse she’s going to do? Close the door in your face? She’s not that rude.” 

Begrudgingly I agreed. The only other plan I had was to corner her in the locker room, or hide in her car. Both seemed a little excessive. All I had to do is get through the next 5 hours of training with her. 

It was painful and seemed to drag on and on. My usual options for partners already partnered up with someone else. Claudia with Patri, Keira with Aitana, Lucy with Ona. I even asked the young girls who all gave me sympathetic smiles. There was one person left, the one person who has been working hard to ignore me. 

Alexia and I didn’t talk. Just did the drills as told. The tension was palpable, I just wanted to scream at her, to make her talk to me. Is this how she has felt for all those years? 

“What’s up with you and capi?” Claudia pulled me aside right as training finished. 

“Nothing Clau.” She gave me a look to say ‘I know you’re lying’, “okay I don’t know? I told her I loved her back and things have been weird since.” 

“You should talk to her.” 

“Wow thanks Claudia! I never thought of that.” It came out a lot harsher than I anticipated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bitch.” 

“It’s fine. Whatever you need, I got your back. Always.” With a quick hug she was gone. 

By the time I was home, showered and quickly tidied up it was time to go. I had a stop to make before going to Alexias, as I hated turning up empty handed. Alba was waiting outside when I arrived. 

“Stand over there so she can’t see you on the intercom. Once she buzzes in, go into the elevator, to the 16th floor. It’s apartment 1604, just knock on the door and force your way in.”

“Sounds like a horrible idea. Why did I agree to this.” 

“Just do what I said and it’ll all work out.” Alba sighed. Her plan worked. Alexia buzzed her up straight away. 

Alba left, leaving me to do this alone. The elevator seemed to take forever, trying to remember Albas directions but also trying not to freak out and be angry at Alexia. The elevator stopping at the 16th floor ripped me out of my thoughts. 

1604.

All I had to do was knock. Not that hard. First I needed to calm myself down, slowly walking up and down the hallway taking deep breathes. Before i realised what I was doing, I had knocked. 

“Amelia? What are you doing here?” 

“We need to talk.” I pushed my way in. “Here I got you this.”

“You got me a bottle of water?” She was confused

“Yes. I couldn’t come here empty handed and you don’t drink during the season, and you don’t drink soft drink or juice or anything so water was the best option.” 

She made herself comfortable on her couch, looking up at me expectantly. I was Pacing around her living room, lost in my own head. 

“You’re going to put a hole in my floor Amelia.”

“Why have you been ignoring me?” 

“I haven’t. I’ve been giving you the space you need.” 

“No Alexia! You told me to stop running from you, you begged me to stop and I did. Is this you paying me back for running from you? For breaking your heart? Is that what this is?” 

“What? No!” 

“Then what! Because I told you I loved you for fuck sake. I want to try even though I don’t know how! So tell me Alexia!” Angry tears fell from my eyes, hastily wiping them away. 

“Keira and Leah said I need to give you time and space. To wait for you to come to me. I was just trying to help.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me? I thought that day on the beach meant something? I tried to come to you but you wouldn’t let me! For fuck sake.” I turned away from her, deciding it was time to leave but before I could get grabbed my arm, pulling me into her. 

“It did mean something - it does mean something. You’re not leaving. I made dinner for me and Alba but you’re going to sit, we are going to eat, talk, whatever. Then I will drive you home but you’re not leaving Amelia. I will not let you leave.” 

Our bodies were so close, I could feel her heart beat, the warm of her skin, I could see every little freckle on her face, every single thing she would say was imperfect. Her tongue poked out of her mouth, slightly wetting her lips. Her very perfect, kissable lips. 

Without overthinking it, I moved forward, my hands cupping her face, her hands holding my waist. We both leaned in it at the same time. Our lips meeting and fitting like a puzzle piece. It was messy, hot and desperate. She pulled me in closer, trying to get more. We both pulled away from a lack of oxygen. 

“Not the talk I had in mind.” Her forehead resting on mine, a light chuckle came out of my lips. We stayed like that for a moment, afraid of what would happen when we pulled away. It was disrupted by the sound of my stomach. 

“Come. Sit. I made paella.” Alexia ushered me to the dining table. The paella was good, not as good as Eli’s but still good. One of Alexias secret talents was that she could cook, and she’s was good at it. Not many people got to see that side of her, or really any side of her. After we had finished, I took the plates and started to clean, it was the least I could do. 

“Mil, stop. Please. I can deal with them later.”

“It’s fine ale. Just let me do this for you, please.” She didn’t argue after that, just grabbed a tea towel and started drying then packing away the clean dishes. It only took 10 minutes with the both us of until the kitchen was spotless, which would easy some of Alexia’s stress. 

She led me to the lounge room, making me sit on the couch, while she sat on the coffee table, her large hands wrapped around mine. 

“Let’s talk, yes?” She was anxious, but firm. Wanting to get this over and done with. 

“I love you. Really really love you Ale. And I have for as long as I have known you, but it never worked out. When-when I met Emily, she was different to you. She didn’t care what people thought about her, she was free. It felt like a breath of fresh air, and I’m not saying that you need to change or anything because I don’t want that. I just want you to understand.”

“Sí, continúa.” I could practically hear her brain working in over drive. 

“When you and Jenni broke up, Jenni texted me. Telling me that she should’ve ended things with you a long time ago because it was clear you were in love with me and not her. Then you told me you loved me in a romantic way. I freaked out. I drove to fucking Manchester, I basically broke into Keira and Lucy’s house, walking in on them having sex. That was horrific.” I took a deep breath. 

“I thought that I could love Emily as much as I loved you, I had already started falling in love with her, and I knew she loved me. When she proposed I said yes. I wish I didn’t but I did. Then we got married and I didn’t want to invite you. Had you told me not to marry her, I wouldn’t have. I would’ve left with you. Emily realised this. She wrote a letter, the day before she died. She was leaving me because I love you. I had been feeling so shitty about marrying her, making her love me with her whole heart when I couldn’t love her with my whole heart.” Tears started rolling down my face, Ale giving my hand a squeeze. 

“It’s okay. Take your time.” 

“When I got home, she was already hurt. Tied to the chair in front of the TV. I remember the feeling of them grabbing me, the blood running down my face. I remember the screams she let out when they cut my clothes off me or when they, they entered me. She wouldn’t stop screaming and trying to get someone to help so they killed her. But someone heard because I remember hearing sirens after they sliced my back. Then they were gone and she was just sitting there, blood all over her and I couldn’t move. I remember everything, everything that was said at the house, the way some of the police officers vomited outside, the way the ambulance smelt and how fast it went. I remember Keira and Leah screaming outside the hospital room, or Jill holding my hand and talking to me. 

I thought that I would be okay. I was focused on my rehab, the thought of returning to the pitch, to be better, play better for her. Then the funeral happened and the trial. Your mums softness is what broke me. The way she would constantly call me every morning when she was having her coffee, knowing I’d just woken up and was getting ready to go to rehab, or the way she’d find a way to send me paella every Sunday. I don’t know if she told you but I visited her a lot. She made me feel like I was getting better, that things would get better. Then when I saw you at the champions league game, I remembered how much I loved you. How soft but tough your hands were, how fiercely protective you were, everything. And I thought I could try with you.” 

I needed to stop. To compose myself and let it sink in. I could tell Alexia needed a moment too. Her thumb never stopped rubbing over the back of my hand, it was comforting, she was comforting. 

“When we had sex, I wanted to be in control of it and you let me. I didn’t know it would cause me to break but it did. I wasn’t ready for it. Watching you lay there, asleep, cuddled up into me broke my heart because I realised I couldn’t give you more. You deserved more. So I left. The plan was to just go for a few weeks and then come back and talk to you. But those few weeks turned into months, then into years. I would search you on instagram and it seemed like you were doing great without me, so I didn’t come back. I watched your games. All of them. I watched you lose the champions league, watched you win it, watched Spain lose the euros, then win the World Cup. I wanted to reach out when you did your ACL but I couldn’t. You deserved peace during that time. Then I saw you and the girls, and you were dating Olga, who is lovely by the way. She was very sweet. I wasn’t planning on coming back. I was content with the way I was living. Then I saw the open training and decided to come for a bit, not really sure why, but I did. After that I craved to be back on the pitch. To play. Not necessarily for Barcelona or Chelsea. I would’ve been happy to play in a friendly league honestly, but Eloise rang me and told me Jona wanted me to come, even just to train so I did. Everything was suddenly feeling better, but I wanted more. I wanted you. I couldn’t have you though so I was going to settle to just be an outsider, atleast then I could see you, and see what was happening in your life without invading it. But then-“

“Olga and I broke up and I told you I loved you?” She was staring straight at me. Pure admiration all over her face, no pity or anger, just love. 

“Yeah. And here we are. I, uh, I haven’t told anyone all that. The finer details. It would’ve destroyed Keira and Leah. Lucy would’ve lost her shit.” 

“Thank you for telling me Mil.” She stood up, pulling me into a hug. The tightest hug she could, as if she was trying to put all the pieces back together. 

“If you want to try this, us, we can. We will go as slow as you want, there is no pressure. It’ll be on your timeline, and I will understand if you need to stop but you need to tell me okay.” 

She cupped my face with her hands, “no more running away from me. Or anyone.” 

“I promise Ale.” I smiled at her, she was willing to take her time, she was in it for the long haul. 

“Let me take you home?” 

“No it’s okay, I drove here. I’ll see you at training?” 

“Wait! Do you want to get coffee before? No pressure?” The shy Alexia was coming out, not wanting to push her luck. 

“Alexia Putellas, are you asking me on a date?” 

“No? Yes? Whatever you want it to be.” 

“If it’s a date, then yes. I would love to get coffee with you tomorrow.” 

She released a breath, “it’s a date then.” 

After a final hug goodbye, a promise to text her when I got home, I was out the door. A weird feeling settled inside of me. Grateful to be able to share what I did, but also anxious. Anxious about starting this with her, about her knowing what happened, even if it’s not in the greatest detail. The next step was to tell Leah, then keira. Keira had to be last because it would break her, maybe Lucy could be there too. 

[caelivir]

rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)

— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it

— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)

— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!

rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.

but he especially loves picnic dates

you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off

you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job

so he agreed

and he loved it

spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.

rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.

“rayne!” you call for his attention.

your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.

“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.

“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”

a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.

“thank you.” he whispers.

rayne’s protective of you

he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it

if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that

the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that

he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear

you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.

“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.

you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”

“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”

“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.

the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”

“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.

rage.

he’s pissed.

recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.

the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”

you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”

rayne lets you wear his robes

whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them

when you first did it, he was going to protest

but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide

you especially like wearing them when you nap

though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time

“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”

rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.

this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.

yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.

rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.

that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.

“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.

the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him

rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.

whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls

he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like

you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm

and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him

an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.

the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:

dear rayne,

how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.

classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.

speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…

gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.

rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.

[twost3ps]

I’m back uhhhh what did I miss- like genuinely though drop a comment or sumn dm me idk hit me up what happened around or with you idk brah I deleted this app when I went on hiatus

Idgaf tell me the weather or sumn (tldr at the bottom bcz I do yap 🙄)

Thank you guys who commented on my hiatus post I meant a lot to be checked on jhefihnfechn

On that note I do wanna premise my updating schedule is going to be excreeemmmmeeeeely slim. Im going to be not as active as I was before especially since um… I kinda stopped drawing for basically 2 months I need to get back into the jam of it.

Im gonna be here like once a week or two till I feel comfy again. I have not draw in in a month but I do feel it kicking in again just a bit.

I do also wanna say i have realized that my lack of posting or interacting was a result of two things: one seasonal depression and that hazbin isn’t on the forefront of my mind anymore and hasn’t been since November tbh uhh whoops

So yeah im kinda uhh dropping it. Not exactly but yeah im not a big hazbin fan and haven’t been. Tbh I wasn’t that invested in hazbin rather I was invested in Adam and that was pretty much it.

I was actually in the Adam fandom I’ll be real🧍

This, I am not surprised about because I have played this game many times before. I still very much like Adam but that Adam has turned into my Adam rather than show Adam. He’s my oc essentially so uhhh yeah. I’m gonna ween myself from tagging hazbin but I’m gonna post adamsapple, guitarhero and adamsangels as if they’re my ocs maybe redesign Lucifer and Adam a bit though I can’t really imagine myself changing them much but in time the change will come

I’ll be doing my old aus and stuff still I guess but my account is gonna mainly centralize around the archangels and Adam and Lucifer as their own characters separate from the show. So if you see, like, a mischaracterized or Adam or Lucifer here or there that’s them turning into ocs. I will respond to hazbin stuff but it is no longer in the front of my mind (I will post stuff about it still tho) don’t mean I won’t interact with Adam related posts anymore because I am physically unable to keep my hands off him??? But you will see a lack of content coming from me because I am lazzzyyyyyyyyyy

Will I take it all back when season 2 premieres? Maybe idk

But yeah uh sorry lmao. Missed you all though qwq

TLDR:

I’m back. This is not really a hazbin based account anymore. You will see other fandoms and my ocs. I missed you all 😘

[i-kyujin]

⁺　　✦　　.　　2,000 milestone?!

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

▩　 ⁺🍩　、　 appreciation letter!

˚ 　 ⊹ 　 ehm… HELLO BRO??!! there’s no way that i just reached 2K flwrs?!! WE/I JUST RESTARTED THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT ON DEC 17, 2023??? AND WERE ALREADY AT 2K?? honestly, yes that’s crazy and were growing so fast 😭😭?? it’s been a honor to experience this, especially after our old i-kyujin account got deleted randomly and which i remembered that it had 1,930 flwrs and that couldn’t reach 2k and we had to restart and work hard again just to gain them again. if i-kyujin wasn’t deleted then we would probably have 3k right now or 2k (i’m dumb in math so ☹️😭…) me and lyn, especially me (hehe..) worked so hard just to get to this amount of wonderful followers and i’m actually so happy right now since i been waiting for this moment to happen for so long, or ever since our old account got deleted like for real.. but since it happened now i’m actually so happy and won’t forget this moment 😭‼️. and to those who knew us/me before i-kyujin got deleted are actually so nice and were probably mutals until now too or smth 😋😋!! but again, THANK YOU ALL SAUR MUCH FOR THIS WONDERFUL AND MEMORABLE MOMENT!! this will last in my heart and brain forever 😭😋☹️!! i don’t even think anyone will read this, but it’s okay 😭😋‼️ but to those who are my moots/mutals, i’m very thankful for you guys and if we are not close or we are. and especially to @yuzchaes , @aeraras , @y-unrei @wonjuii ++ whoever is in the “mentally unstable gang 🤭” gc 😭😭 + my bsf @vixpng (can’t ping anymore), u guys were also here in this journey so thank you so muchh!! ++ more moots! thank you all again and ilysm!! and to my best friend @vixypng (follow her) who also supported me!! thank you thank THANK YOUUU ALL 😭💗‼️ lets go for 3k followers and more!! we grew so fast im cryinggg, BYEBYE TYSMTYSM!!!! 😭💗

(i’m sorry, it’s so long 😭)

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

▩　 ⁺🍩　、　 fav blogs/moots!

　 (no order!)

@yuzchaes , @y-unrei , @i04rei , @aericita , @aeraras , @wonjuii , @jnssite , @y-vna , @tzulipss , @minguukie , @j-eongs , @7kyujin , @hyelita , @haesite , @p-oisn , @soulari , @fuckici , @baesol , @chaey2k , @gigittamic , @koosuvi , @jicito , @chuwerii , @vnlyt , @y-unjins , @y-urios , @y2jiz , @fairytopea , @kthemes , @n-americano , @egorls , @y-unjins , @iluvrei , @sseulr1n , @thsv , @eliatopia , @aegsll , @rkkuri , @chaeyve , @c-heriis , @wonjuii , @ningrlz , @yunjidoll , @f-loqweres @jaexiyu ++ many many more!!

(naur way, i’m sorry.. i pinged 50 people 😭😭‼️‼️ srry if i pinged u 2 times or smth 😭😣)

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

[la-lolita]

Hello, this is Lolita, formerly known as Aphrodites-letters, and (sighs) strawberrymilkmami. It’s been a few years since I left, and I am back to properly speak up for myself about the drama that happened between Cupid (now going by Devosin) and I. I will be referring to Devosin as Cupid, however because that’s the name they used to go by during this drama. In this post, I will take accountability for my actions, however I will also explain some parts of the story that I should’ve exposed a long time ago. 

Why now you may ask? Because I feel so much better now. I have matured and up to this day, what has happened still affects me a lot mentally. People may say this is old, or tell me to move on. You can’t move on when there are people out there still thinking you’re a complete bastard not knowing your true reasonings or thinking you’re just finding excuses— its been years, there’s no point in lying, im not even in the fandom anymore, what do I gain lying? You could say I “deserved” it and that “that’s what I get for being jealous” etc. Yet those are simply accusations and assumptions people made, you can’t take people’s/make assumptions and think it’s the truth.

I have finally developed the courage to speak about this topic again and explain properly my side of the story.

—

Faulty Link

I want to clear up the biggest misunderstanding. I never sent anyone anon hate and I can prove it.

Pinpix has stated that she “can track an anon's identity” by using this link. I found this fact very interesting considering it’s been outdated for years at the time Pinpix did this ‘callout.’ 

Pinpix gave out false information about me, then Cupid reblogged it without checking the sources. Not only Cupid, but many of my former mutuals did so without checking the sources. This link hasn’t been working since 2017, yet they managed to ‘track’ my IP in 2023. Anyone is welcome to check the tracking link themselves to see even more comments proving that it no longer works. 

I’d like to mention Cupid had stated this before. 

I’ve never been in Cupid’s server before. So, I clearly couldn’t have been the one sent the hate. With all these facts coming to light, I’d like this to be a lesson to everyone to not jump on hate trains without checking what the ‘proof’ is.

—

Anon Hate

To everyone affected by the anon hate, I’m really truly sorry you’ve had such rude and demeaning people in your inbox. I believe anon hate is such a low act to do and I understand it affected you immensely. 

However, I want everyone to understand that I have never sent anon hate and will never in the future.  —

Copying

Not only did Pinpix accuse me of sending anon hate, they also made some claims about me copying Cupid (most of the post was them talking about this). I’d like to address these.

I’ve never copied anyone. A lot of what I did was take inspiration from trends at that time. Just because some of my posts came after Cupid doesn’t mean I copied her. I did things that were popular at that time, not things that Cupid did. If Cupid did popular things too, cool! But please don’t come after me for also following trends. Fade outs and social media themes were popular then, and many of former mutuals as well as people from other fandoms had similar themes.

First thing out of the way, Cupids are from Roman mythology and Aphrodite is from Greek mythology, so no I didn’t see Cupid’s url and decided to steal it lol, that is so silly. She and I were friends back then and wanted to match names. I also fail to see how our themes and writing styles are similar. To my knowledge, Cupid went for regal themes, while I stuck to coquette, there was a time where I did more simple clean themes because again- it was trending, especially in blogs from big Fandoms such as Genshin. Just because we both used shades of pink doesn’t mean it was plagiarism. 

I’ve never deleted anything off my page after this incident, so I think you’re misremembering. 

My writing format has changed as a progress of maturing. Personal observations are not proof. Not to mention my writings are still up, so if you had proof that our fics are similar, you could have proved it. You have not. 

This says a lot. 

—

Vent

I will take accountability for my venting. I did vent personal things and I regret that immensely. I’m sorry to anyone affected by them. However, please understand I was going through a difficult situation both online and irl, and as an immature 13 year old kid, I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t have the help I needed, I didn’t know what to do to make myself feel better. Sadly, I chose a path that not only didn’t help me, but also harmed the people around me. I regret it, and if I could I would have taken a few months offline.

None of my vents named or attacked anyone. If you made correlations from my vents to people, that is your assumption. These are all subjective opinions made by you without any proof. 

Some of my posts were indeed targeted towards Cupid, I wasn’t healed from the first drama we had and seeing them interact with my friends hurt me really bad. I just wanted the whole drama out of my life, seeing Cupid on my dashboard didn’t help me forget at all. I had blocked her, however when she interacted with my mutuals, I saw her on my page. However, the majority of my vents were from real life issues.  —

Sign Out

First and foremost, I’m sorry to anyone hurt by actions caused by me. However, the anon hate, the spam into former mutuals’ inboxes, accused plagiarism and this supposed obsession isn’t me. You’ve crafted this whole story based on assumptions and false proof, and I don’t want to take the hate in my inbox anymore. It’s been years and I’m not sure why people are still so obsessed with this situation.

Though this section confuses me, since when you said I did the ‘same thing,’ it implies that Cupid has also neglected to credit the art they used.

I have used art without credits only if I couldn’t find the original source. I found a lot of my inspiration on Pinterest, so when I found the source, I could credit them. However, sometimes I couldn’t find it, and wouldn’t have anything to cite. I now know that I should have looked harder or have used another image for my blog, however I was not as mature then. In my mind, I had looked for the source and couldn't find it. Going forward in any future fandoms I join to make content, I will cite everything I can.

As a final message, don’t harass people online, especially if you don’t do your research on the topic or know the full story of both people. In my case I was anxious. I didn’t know what to do or say, I was panicked and was unable to collect my thoughts and come with a proper response. Now, I hope this was enough to explain my side of the story and clear up some things said about me.

Thank you for listening and have a good day.

[cali-kabi]

~ Little vent callout (you can ignore or read it if you want I’m just so paranoid)

6 years ago when I made my first art account on insta, this user found my art account and keeps asking me and harassing me and my mutuals to make free art for him. (I dislike a certain pokemon falinks because of him) He’s such a manipulative and guilt tripping jerk. And when he messaged my tumblr a few days ago he’s STILL trying to get me to forgive him. Like I almost had a panic attack had anemia back then (I went to the doctor/hospital a few times because of my stress) and I feel like you want me to forget the harassment you caused me and many others (some people I know deactivated because of you) leave me alone I don’t want to forgive you for the trauma you caused me and many others.

If your mutuals with this person because of their “changed” ways I don’t care I don’t know what to tell you, just giving you a heads up that they still randomly ask you for free art after becoming friends with them. I find that suspicious. Before I blocked them I looked into their profile it seems to me that their still asking for free art (art trades now right after becoming mutuals with the person) (Artists your health is more important) please if this person finds your profile and talks to you don’t talk to them about or even mention me. I don’t want to hear anymore excuses from him. Their new is @/starpoyo99 bluesky and tumblr @/damiankirby99 just please don’t interact to them or talk to them about me.😓

The first two screenshots are from me and bottom two are from my mutual

In this screenshot you see their guilt trip behavior (sorry my words their back then I didn’t know some were typos I was saying I was busy helping my friend out) He has an obsession with me tagging him in my art I TAG MY FRIENDS NOT JERKS

Second screenshot when I mention I was sick I mean I had anemia.

Third screenshot my mutual needed to do commissions and not wanted to doing art requests (free art)

Fourth screenshot (from mutual) Again the guilt trip manipulative bullshit sorry for the swear word

I wish I could share more screenshots but I deleted them and those were way worst than this…

I know this is like 5 years old but this behavior is unacceptable

[livindeadgirlgrav]

Taken

Pairing: The Grabber x fem reader

Warning: Kidnapping, violence, possible dubcon, manipulation, bad language, toxic, NSFW, abuse, Stockholm syndrome!

A/n: Soo I started writing this story I couple years ago and never got to finish it since my old account got deleted soo Imma have my Frankenstein moment! Hope you like! Also I listen to music to help me write stories soo the song for this story particular is Put Me In a Movie-Lana Del Rey

Ps. I don’t condone anything this character does he’s a bad person like all the other slashers!

First + second person pov! Also alternating pov!

There I was running for my life in the middle of the street. No idea where I was or where I was going just knew I needed to leave. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He was a good man but not anymore. I still can’t wrap my head around what happened to him, all I know is he changed. Let me explain how I got in this situation, to make a long story short I’ll start at this morning.

I woke up to the sound of things being thrown about. “What are you doing?” I asked rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “You are a piece of shit you know that!? I should have left you back home! You are worthless!” Your scum of a man shouted at you. “What did I do!?” He turned around and slapped you hard. “You know exactly! Hiding my shit! You are such a child” You held your cheek as you grit your teeth. “You would probably like that huh? I see how you look at any woman!” You spat at him. He completely ignored you as he found his keys. “I’m going to work don’t be a cunt.” He said slamming the door behind him. You huffed looking around at the mess he created, you two had just moved here and got settled in. You couldn’t believe that you left everything for him! Your friends and family just to be abused by him.

Later on during that night you received a call from the douchebag. “Hey I’ll be home late I gotta work overtime.” This was your chance! You could leave him, stop this madness you’ve learned to deal with and take. Well not anymore once the phone hung up you were fast on your feet packing your stuff. It wasn’t a lot you guys moved a lot and when you move a lot you lose a lot too. Your whole life could fit in a backpack and it did. After packing you decided to take a quick shower and brush your teeth. It maybe took you an hour to do everything, you were trying to be quick and thank god you were for when you put your last shoe on, your prick of a boyfriend was walking in the door. “You liar” you thought as you ran to the bathroom locking the door behind you. “Y/n! What are you doing!? Y/n!” He yelled, as he banged on the door you quickly toss your bag out the bathroom window at this point he was practically kicking in the door. But once you crawled out the window and your feet hint the ground the bathroom door gave in. You grabbed your bag and ran hearing the abusive prick scream your name.

And that’s exactly how I got here, running for what felt like miles till I saw a mysterious man and a black van. “Please help me! Please” I said getting closer to the man noticing he was walking a rather large dog. “A man is trying to hurt me! He’ll kill me if he catches me!” I practically yelled. “Okay, okay I’ll help you.. here jump in here.” The man said opening the back of his van. I knew this was sketchy but anything was better then that ex of mine. After a couple minutes I heard him yell. “Hey excuse have you seen a girl about yay high, h/c hair, e/c eyes?” He sounded out of breath as he should be for chasing me. “No I haven’t seen any girl I’ve been walking Samson here.” The man said watching the other breathless man. Hearing his footsteps fade the van door opened. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!” The man smiled. “You wanna see a magic trick?” You looked at the man finally noticing he had a top hat and dark shades on which was weird to you since it was night time. Before words left your mouth the man grabbed you and sprayed this sticky liquid in your mouth. You coughed for the taste was terrible and sung the back of your throat. Before the man pushed you back and slammed the door you managed to hit and scratch him . “H-hey! W-what did you give m-me?” You coughed out hearing a hush and the van engine turning on. Samson, the dog bark making your ears ring roughly. You fought as hard as you could but you soon blacked out.

“My neck, my fucking neck. I should snap yours for what you did to my neck.” The man growled before tossing you onto a mattress on the floor. Sitting up I looked at him the best I could, vision still blurry from whatever he gave me. Looking at my surroundings to see what I assumed was a dirty basement. “Jesus it’s covered in blood.” You looked at the man as he crouched beside you giving you a good view of his devilish mask. “It’s like I killed someone. You see that?” He huffed showing me his scratched neck then waving his fingers in my face. “Not like you can see shit.” Starring at the man you grew fearful. “I know that you’re scared but I’m not going to hurt you anymore. What I said about snapping your neck..I was angry is all you did a number in my neck.” He chuckled. “I’m not gonna hold it against you” he said in a more light tone scooting closer to you. “I guess now we’re even.” He said was he played with your hair. “You don’t have to be scared, because nothing bad is going to happen here and on that I give my word Johnny.” The man put up two fingers signaling he swore. “You like soda? Hm? I’ll tell you what imma go get you a soda and then- is that the phone? Did you hear a phone ring?” He got a bit closer to your face so close you could feel his breath if it wasn't for his emotionless mask. “I’m going to get see who it is then I’ll get you a soda and then I’ll come back and explain everything hm?” He stood up and walked to the door turning to take one last look before shutting and locking the door. Gripping the mattress, I looked around seeing this dirty basement was pretty nice. Seeing beside me a black phone, I debated on picking it up but who would I call? I asked myself. Not knowing what was in my system I thought it best to try to sleep it off so I did.

When I woke up the lights were off and the door was still shut. Looking around I was able to get a better view of my surroundings. I grasp the black phone, taking it off the hook and holding it to my ear just to easy my curiosity. "It doesn't work, not since I was a kid. Hang it up." You jumped a little at the sudden noise. Hanging up the phone you turned around to see your kidnapper. The man flipped the lights on. " I know you're scared and want to go home." You stared at the man only seeing his figure due to him not being in the line of light. "I'll take you home soon. Its just..ugh everything is fucked up. I got to be upstairs for a while somethings come up." You nodded a little. "What?" you said softly. "Nevermind what." he said in a tone. "Is it someone up there?" Walking into light you saw the mans mask, it was different he had a big creepy smile and he had a small band-aid like bandage on his neck. For some weird reason you found this mask more comforting then the emotionless one. The man growled. "No one can hear anything if the door's shut I sound proofed it myself, so if you wish to scream or yell do as much as you like, you won't bother anyone." You watched the man grab the door and began to shut it. "I-i don't have a home." The man looked at you and walked back into the room so you could see his face. " I will never make you do anything you won't..like." You backed away a bit, deciding to sit down on the mattress. You were uncomfortable to say the less but for some reason you weren't scared. The man noted your sudden change and shut the door behind him deciding it was best to leave then to keeping the conversation going with you. Once the man left you looked around the room, you found a toilet backed away in a little hall way, old rolls of carpet, and a crack in the cement. Not knowing what to do with your recent discoveries you decided it was just best to try to sleep again. It was annoying but what else did you have to do?

You swore it had been forever since your captor came back down to see you. You sat on the bed with your knees to your chest starring at the door. This isolation was killing you. You stared picking the skin around your fingernails causing them to bleed every now and again. You were anxious, did he forget about you? Were you going to starve to death in this dirty basement? Did someone catch him? Did he not what you anymore? What a minute you thought to yourself did you want him to want you? Snapping out of your thoughts as you heard the door unlock and be pushed open. You sat up letting your knees go. The man walked in with a tray of food. "W-what did you put in that?" You asked as you watched the man walk towards you. "Salt and pepper." He chuckled placing the tray at the end of the mattress he sighed. "Eat it don't eat it. You're already down here, why would I need to drug you?" You were beyond starving, scooting to the end of the mattress you pulled the tray back to the spot you were just in. "Thank you." The Grabber leaned his head to the side watching you through the holes in his mask. As you began to eat the man turned to leave. You nearly choked on eggs trying to speak fast enough to catch him. "Hey! ...Stay." The man looked at you over his shoulder seeing you sitting on your knees. "Please...I don't want to be alone." Watching the man he nodded and walked towards you. You moved to the edge of a corner on the mattress so he could sit on the end, which he did. You noted that the man watched you as you ate and drunk the glass soda he put on the tray.

Once you finished you stared at the man. "What's your name?" "What's yours?" He asked uncomfortable answering the question. "Y/n" You said softly. "That's a beautiful name." You smiled a fair blush forming on your cheeks. You knew none of this was right, especially how you were feeling. Why were you okay with this? You kept asking yourself. "Why did you take me?" Asking softly the man growled a little not liking the question. "I couldn't leave you." He answered, knowing you weren't going to get any more detail you nodded. "Are you the man on the TV? Who took those boys?" You watched his face, his eyes looking for some humanly reaction, but nothing. "That wasn't me, that was someone else.." Not believing him fully you decided to not try to pull more info. "Who was that guy?" Finally asking you a question. "My ex boyfriend bf/n." "Why were you running from him?" You looked down not wanting to talk about it. "He was abusing me. Physically" The man studied your face, scooting closer to you he pushed your hair behind your ear. Looking at his eyes then the smiling mouth of his mask, without thought you reached to touch the mask but as your finger tips grazed the surface the man grabbed your hand tightly moving it away from him. You jumped a little at the sudden movement making the man huff. Letting you go the man stood and walked to the door taking the tray with him. "Wait! I'm sorry I won't do it again." You begged but the nameless man pulled the door to leaving it unlocked. Running to the door you went to open it but you hesitated, leaving the door alone you walked back to the mattress.

After that day you would only see him when he brought you food. You hated yourself for ever trying to touch his mask. He didn't talk to you and he always wore his emotionless mask. You grew to seek his attention and presence. Not knowing if it was the isolation or just the simple fact you were weirdly attracted to him. Not having no sense of time you woke up on what felt like the 50th day, laying curled in a ball watching the phone swing. "Stop it.." "Stop what?" Jumping up you looked at the man seeing he only had his mouth piece of his mask on. "What are you doing?" You said shaky, looking down at yourself just to see if anything was out of place. "I didn't touch you." You looked up at him without lifting your head. "Don't look at me like that." He said with a voice crack at the end. "I just wanted to look at you.." Feeling your breath hence, you pulled your knees to your chest. The man stood from the spot he was just crouching at and walked to you. He sat in front of you starring at you never breaking eye contact. "Your eyes are blue.." He nodded. "My name is Albert. But don't call me that." You smiled softly liking that he was opening up to you, it made you comfortable but it also made these stupid butterflies fly around your semi empty stomach. "Can I call you Al?" You knew who he was, he was The Grabber, the man all over news who took those boys, but you questioned your reality wanting to believe it wasn't him like he said. You did believe it but not in your heart. He nodded as he raised his hand to your face softly brushing his finger against your cheek, you tensed at the contact but relaxed as he continued. Slowly he moved his hand to your chin rubbing it with his thumb and index finger before he rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb. Heart beating fast and loud like a drum you watched him his eyes going back and forth from your lips to your eyes.

"Al."you said breathlessly. Hushing you the man lend in and pressed the lips of his mask onto yours. So many thoughts ran through your head. Should you push him away? Kiss the cold fake lips? Or just sit there? Without thought you kissed the lips of the mask back then pulled away as he did. Albert stared at you his eyebrows raised giving him a sad look. "Al?" He stood up without a word and walked out locking the door behind him, leaving you there alone and confused.

Weeeeelllllll this is part 1 of the story! I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry it's so long but man when I get a story I just can't stop lol anywho part 2 should be up later!

[xoxochb]

— come here dressed in black now! ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

fic and requests rules:

୨୧ I write only sfw at the moment. never angst because it makes me sad :(( I am not writing nsfw at the moment either.

୨୧ I don’t write for ships, I only do x reader.

୨୧ I don’t write for male readers because I’m a female so it’s awfully awkward for me.

୨୧ DO NOT!!! send me a request and then send another writer the same request. it WILL be deleted. it is utterly rude to both me and the other person and I do not tolerate nor appreciate this.

୨୧ anyways these are all my current rules and they can be updated at any point so make sure you check before you request!

account rules:

୨୧ please, I beg of you, if we are mutuals do not unfollow me without warning or reason. this is seriously infuriating and has happened many times. I will unfollow you back if this occurs.

୨୧ If you’re a creepy old man or one of those porn accounts get the fuck off my blog you indiscreet weirdo.

୨୧ I’m always open to convos in my inbox but if you’re coming on here to hate please get off my blog. I don’t tolerate assholes, it takes up too much of my valuable time and energy to deal with you.

୨୧ I’d also like if nobody were to spam like my posts anymore please because I’ve found it can get me shadowbanned! :(( and I know this hasn’t been a problem in the past but I’ve noticed a decrease in notes on my posts and I assume because I have so many different people spam liking (I love you for that, it’s sweet, but nobody likes to be shadowbanned it sucks 👎🏼)

୨୧ and not a rule but here is my colored text tutorial and here is the tutorial for the link in bio that I use since I’ve gotten many asks about these :)

୨୧ read this + this

୨୧ again, more could always be added to this but this is just a brief list for now <33

[deryowo]

Diet Pepsi

notes: nope, you're not reading a copy, I had already made this fic on my previous account but unfortunately it was deleted, but instead of getting depressed and drinking alcohol while listening to the caramelldanse I decided to recreate it, and personally I feel that it's better than the original so please enjoy :D (also wish you a good Diet Pepsi summer, ily addison rae 💋)

Summary: You were in a relationship with Mark, but he didn't pay much attention to you. Luckily, you met up with your ex-boyfriend, Hendery, to sneak out at night, hiding from Mark.

Contains: sex, drugs, infidelity, foot fetish, vulgar language, gay scenes.

•••

The stay with Mark had become monotonous.

I mean, he wasn't a bad guy, he was smart and knew a lot about computers, he was very pleasant to talk to, he seemed very cute when he was shy and his presence was warm.

But lately he's been very absent from the relationship; he's become obsessed with an online game and practically lives in it.

Not even sex could keep him away from the computer. He was mesmerized, spending all day with his friends online and not paying attention to you. You tried to talk to him, but he only said you were exaggerating and that he was also taking time alone.

“But I miss you, Mark. You don’t talk to me anymore because you’re with your friends playing that shitty video game.” You stood at the door, ready to leave, fed up with the situation, frustrated at being ignored.

“Come on babe, I just want to hang out with my friends, you know I never see them and you come to ruin this for me with your dramas.” His appearance was disheveled, he hadn’t showered in days and his dark circles went from purple to completely black.

“But understand, don’t even do it for me anymore, I mean, God, look at you, your health is going to get worse.” It was a real pain to have to deal with him, it was like fighting with a child.

“What do you care, you're not my mother” and that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

“Fuck you, idiot,” you left his room angrily. Mark could barely assimilate that what he said was wrong, so he ran after you, apologizing, but nothing worked. You reached the door of the house and left without looking back, slamming the door.

Mark knew there was nothing he could do, so he didn't chase you back to your car, he just let you go.

•••

You drove to the nearest convenience store, parked, and waited a few minutes before getting out of the car. You were crying, and it would be embarrassing for someone to see you like that.

Your phone kept ringing, all the notifications were from Mark apologizing and crying in the messages, you knew that reading and responding to them would be worse, so you decided to turn it off.

You took out a handkerchief to dry your tears and soothe the swelling in your baggy eyes and got out of the car.

Upon entering the store, you headed to the beverage aisle to grab these iced coffees and then went for some chocolates, they were your favorite when you were sad.

You headed to the register to pay and ask the cashier for some cigarettes too, but you didn't realize that hendery was the one who ran the store.

Oh yeah, high school hendery, black hair, old school vans, smoking behind the school, MTV, nu metal and alternative music, baggy pants, coming into your room late at night to kiss you, PlayStation 2, your high school boyfriend.

Flashbacks of you and him in his room after school came to mind, instantly making you nervous.

“This would be… wait, you?” Her eyes began to sparkle and her smile was quick to appear. “God, it’s you. You’re still just as beautiful.”

“Oh, Hendery,” it was difficult to speak. The fact that this is happening after what happened with Mark was too much for today.

“Oh, sorry, I know you have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t talk to you so confidently.” He looks down, a little embarrassed.

“Nooo, don’t worry, it’s okay, I’m glad to see you too.” The truth is that their reunion was pleasant, he was wearing his work clothes but he still looked like the same rebellious hendery from high school.

“I always wondered if we would ever see each other again, I had already lost faith” they broke up 5 months after graduating from high school, you would go study far away and he would stay in the town.

Their relationship wasn't bad, but they knew it would be difficult to do something long-distance. That last conversation outside your house at 10 p.m. was a difficult moment.

“God, I really don’t know how to react. I’m so happy to see you again. You’re still the same.”

“Yes, the same one, only now he’s being exploited at work,” he laughed as he stuffed your things into a bag.

“Are you always here?” you asked, hoping to find out his schedule and maybe stop by to see him and talk to him.

“I'm leaving here at 12 at night, I'd like to ask you out but it's late and you have a boyfriend and I don't want to be nosy” the fact that you were with mark discouraged him a little, he had found out about your relationship through gossip from yangyang and ten.

“No, no problem, we can go out sometime, I'll visit you more often” your words made his eyes shine and he almost jumped for joy, seeing each other more often was a gift for him.

And the truth is that he never stopped loving you. It sounded silly because it's a lie that your first girlfriend is going to be your girlfriend for life, but he got along really well with you. He had tried to meet more girls but they just didn't match up.

“Sure, you're always welcome at my horrible job.” The scene was cheesy as hell. The two of them were holding hands, separated only by a piece of furniture, being watched by the security camera, where the boss of Hendery was standing behind them, laughing at how pathetic he looked.

“Oh, Dery.” You two are so ridiculous. “Oh, right? Could I also have some cigarettes, please?” He turned around to grab a pack from the back shelf and then came back to give them to you.

“I’ll give you everything, deduct it from my salary later.” He was so in love that he knew he would get scolded later, but it didn’t matter, it was for you.

“Thanks Dery.” They smiled at each other for the last time and you left the place.

•••

Mark: Hey honey, I'm really sorry, it wasn't my intention, I know I'm an idiot and I should spend more time with you, if you just give me another chance babe, please :c

You felt sorry for Mark, he seemed really embarrassed, so you made the bad decision to forgive him and give him a second chance.

They had gone out to the mall where he had promised to buy you something as an apology but instead he stayed chatting with the guy from the video game store, it was the last straw.

He was going to drop you off at your house afterward. He had planned to fuck you, but you didn't want to invite him in. During this date, you started thinking about how little you two have in common and that maybe you're not that compatible anymore.

That same night you also spent the whole night talking to Hendery on the phone, outside on your balcony with a cigarette, laughing at his antics.

"So, they're cheating on you with a computer? How sad." You had told him about your situation with Mark because you still thought you were the crazy one, but apparently you were right.

“Don’t laugh, sometimes it hurts to be ignored.” You take a drag on your cigarette and notice how he stays silent for a few seconds until he says.

“You know, I wouldn’t treat you like that” it felt weird to hear it but you didn’t dislike it, it was true, hendery isn’t like that.

“Hendery, I’d like to go out with you.” You have something in mind, not revenge for Mark, but something to fill the void you’ve been carrying inside for months.

“Hiding from your boyfriend? That's dangerous,” he chuckles. “Besides, we'd be leaving late, so a lot of things could be misinterpreted.”

“It doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter, if he doesn’t care I guess he won’t have a problem with me going out with you late at night” and you were determined, you wanted to be with hendery.

“Well, I’m just trying to make you happy. I’m leaving at 12 on Friday. I can pick you up then, what’s that all about?” He was so excited about his getaway that it was hard to contain himself.

He'd been waiting for this opportunity for a long time. He wasn't the typical guy looking to steal someone's wife, but come on, Mark has you so abandoned that it would be a sin not to take advantage of it.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you then.”

•••

You: I'm so sorry Mark, I can't go out with you today, I feel a little bad.

Mark: Noooo, do you need me to come? Should I bring you food?

You: Don't worry, my mother is with me, I'm well covered.

mark: :c

Mark: Get well soon, sweetheart.

Mark: ilysm <3

Of course you were fine, you weren't bundled up like you said, but you did have whipped cream all over your feet, and Hendry's tongue running over them.

“Haha, God, Dery, you tickle me.” He drove through the city streets, full of lights and listening to the Arctic Monkeys.

"What did your boyfriend say? He never worries, but today he did." Hendry didn't consider himself a fetishist; according to him, he's a very normal guy, but he loved your feet, so delicate and clean.

“Nothing, we usually got together on Friday nights to watch movies or I watched him play his stupid video game.” You were in the passenger seat, almost lying down, watching how Hendery drove with one hand because the other was holding a cigarette.

“Don’t worry, I’ll play with you today.” He smiled at you, but this time it wasn’t so sweet. It was a lustful smile, full of obscenities. “You’re my baby.”

His way of speaking when they were alone was always seductive, slow, serious, hot.

“Hey, where are we going, Dery?” He told you it was a surprise, but he never mentioned anything, not a single detail.

“It’s something special, you’ll see when we get there.” He threw the cigarette out the window and began to caress your bare legs. “You��ll like it.”

•••

In their youth they used to go to a gazebo, stay up late and kiss all night, they never actually had sex, it was always rubbing and touching, but there was never sex as such.

Today would be different, hendery wanted to try you this time, if it wasn't today it would never be.

“This place, god, Hendery, do you remember it?” Nostalgia hit you hard, and you almost cried at the sweetness of the gesture, but it wasn’t the right time. Hendery grabbed your face so he could turn you around and kiss you.

He missed the taste of your lips, I'd been dreaming of tasting them again for years "let's move to the back seats"

He got out of the car but you crossed inside, since you were almost naked, you sat in a corner watching as Hendery entered, feeling his desperation to touch you.

He closed the door and entered your legs, kissing, biting and licking them inside, he was slow but rough, he took his time.

“I’ve been waiting for this, ever since I saw you again.” He gently unbuttoned your shorts. His hands felt so cold, but his breath was warm. “I needed this.”

“ah me, dery too mmh I needed you” under your shorts and with them your underwear, the cold air was present for a short time because as soon as you undressed he put his face between your legs, licking everything in his path, your hands took strands of his hair.

His tongue passed over the most sensitive part, his fingers went in and out, they moved inside and were restless.

The windows fogged up and the moans were loud, it was a very pornographic moment but it felt magical.

“Shit, I think I'm going to cum” your head was back but you didn't take your hands off his hair, he instantly stopped and pulled out of your pussy.

“No wait, there’s still more, darling.” He stood up, wiping the saliva from his chin, taking off his shirt, and kissing you again with the same ferocity as a moment ago.

He wasn't the most muscular guy, he was actually thin, but he was fucking attractive, you hugged him to feel his body more while he inserted his tongue into your mouth, being very perverted in each act.

And when the situation was at its hottest, the fucking cell phone rang.

“Shit, now?” you grabbed it and saw the screen, it was Mark “Sorry, I’m hanging up now” but Hendery stopped you.

“No, babe, answer him, he must be worried,” she said in a sarcastic tone, she was up to something.

You looked at him strangely for a few seconds and decided to answer.

"Hello?"

“Hey babe, how are you? I was thinking about you, are you feeling better?” You watched as Hendry unbuttoned his pants and laughed quietly.

“Mark, I'm fine, you know, just a little fever.” Hendery took you by the legs, pulling you to lie down on the seats, opening them and positioning himself between them.

“Yeah sure, a fever, you're super hot, you need my shot babe” he said in a low voice but eager for Mark to have heard him.

“Yeah, you sound a little agitated.” It was true, but not because of a fever. “I was going to ask you out, but I know you're weak, so I'll leave you alone, babe.”

“You would do us a big favor, Markie,” said Hendery, then inserted his dick into you.

fuck fuck fuck, he’s a son of a bitch “oh god” you shouted forgetting that you were on a call with mark, it was the end.

“Baby, ummm, is everything okay?” Mark was worried, he also felt strange, for him that moan was very strange.

Hendery on the other hand was laughing at the situation, he was fascinated, he was fucking the girl of a loser like mark, so he started to move, slow but deep, making you panic because you couldn't control your breathing well.

“It’s just that I hit the couch, oh shit” you covered your mouth before continuing to talk and screwing things up even more than they already were, but luckily Mark was dumb.

“Oh was that it, damn you're an idiot, I got scared, you sounded like you were fucking someone” hendery tried to hold back her laughter but it was impossible.

“If you don’t worry, I’ll hang up, I’m a little sleepy,” you said because you couldn’t contain the situation anymore.

“It’s okay baby, rest, I love you so much princess, bye” it sounded so innocent, I didn’t know what was really going on.

“Goodbye Markie” and you hung up abruptly, Mark finally felt better, he was on his computer as always, when you hung up he looked down a little more relieved, watching how Haechan was under the table sucking his cock.

“Lucky you hung up on that bitch, now you're only mine, Mark,” he said, putting his cock in his mouth and sucking it like it was a popsicle.

Meanwhile, Hendery and you were in the backseat of his car, fucking like Jack and Rose on the Titanic, but with a little more perversity.

Hendery didn't have time to take off your bra so he just pulled it down a little so he could see your tits and grab them while he penetrated you.

“Fuck babe, that was so exciting, I wish I could have made you moan so he would realize this” he sounded intimidating, he was a total rebel, he was bothered by the fact that an idiot was treating the girl he always loved badly.

“I almost died of fright, idiot, fuck keep moving like that please deryyy” his grip was strong, he didn’t stop penetrating you hard, almost feeling his cock in your stomach.

“I love you so much, God I'm going crazy” he leaned forward so he could kiss you, he liked being close to you and feeling you better.

You scratched his back unconsciously while he nibbled your ear, it felt good to finally be able to fuck you, he had always had that fantasy, but he didn't dare to take the step, he was very cowardly, but not now, now he was a man.

He separated from you to arrange you in a different way, turning you over and putting you on your knees in front of him, he entered you again and now his right hand was masturbating you while he moved inside you.

He whispers obscenities in your ear, occasionally pulls your hair and slaps your butt.

“Dery love, can I cum now?” You were about to explode, everything was so intense that it made you wobble in your seat, you weren’t falling because of his grip but it was too much.

“Maybe I’ll cum too” then the two of you changed positions again, he was sitting and you were on top of him, bouncing on his cock, you hugged him tightly while you moaned in his ear, while he took your hips and pushed you deeper into his cock.

A few sits later and you came on his cock, it was his turn but he preferred to get off of you "wait baby, I'm cumming, I need you to suck it" he was red and panting from exhaustion, he had two strands of sweat on his forehead which made him look totally hot.

“Do you want me to swallow it?” you asked, trying not to fall over because of the spasms.

“I don’t want to get the car dirty, and I don’t want a child at the moment,” he joked, taking your hand and putting it on his cock, forcing you to masturbate him.

You leaned down towards his cock and put it in your mouth, you wanted to show him that you could take it all the way down your throat but you were too tired for that, so you just focused on licking the tip and touching his balls.

His orgasm arrived and you felt his semen all over your mouth, the sensation was strange and you almost spit it out but you didn't want to dirty his car and upset him, so you swallowed it all at once.

You fell exhausted into his lap while he had his head pressed against the back of the chair, his eyes closed and his mouth open, letting out his moans of exhaustion and glory.

It took him 3 to 5 minutes to recover and when he came back he picked you up and laid you down better in the seat, he lay down next to you and with his coat that was a bit big they covered the two of you, he hugged you by the waist and kissed your shoulder.

“Baby, do me a favor,” he said, his head resting lightly on your shoulder. “Finish things off with Mark.”

“What?” you ask a little strangely.

“Yes, break up with that idiot. I want you to be my girlfriend, like before.” He played with your hair and smiled without looking you in the eyes.

“I want to do it but” and I looked at you fixedly, there was no need for me to interrupt you because you shut up instantly.

“He doesn’t pay attention to you, nor does he love you, I do, I want to give you everything” he said confidently, he got up a little just so he could kiss you and touch your noses “come on baby, I love you”

[kingofbodyrolls]

My Heart’s Home (m) | pjm | chapter 1

*this is a re-upload since I deleted my old account 🫣

You arrive back at the ranch, a place you used to call home as a child. But it doesn’t hold the same meaning anymore. With the passing of your mother, you stand to inherit part of that very ranch– and you don’t want it. Only problem, your sister doesn’t want to give you her signature for you to sell your share.

→ Pairings: jimin x reader (main) and jungkook x reader (one time ONLY).  → Characters: female reader (isn’t mentioned by name and no “y/n”), Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung and four female original characters. → AUs: ranch!au, slice of life!au, cowboy!au, soulmate!au → Genres: smut, humor, fluff, slow burn and angst (yes, it’s got everything lol!) → Chapter warnings: mention of past character death of parents, exhibitionism, explicit smut in the form of protected sex, quick and dirty sex, doing it against a barn, creampie, nipple play, clit play. Doing it in public/outside. Mention of past infidelity (of parents). Spoiler ahead!!! Jungkook and Jimin are (half) brothers and reader sleeping with JK is necessary to happen for the sake of the plot 🥲 It sucked to write that part, and if you feel like the smut if ’eh’ it’s because it was written that way because reader isn’t meant to be with JK! So, please, don’t let that discourage you from reading it, the rest of the story is really good and MC realizes she’s made a mistake… anyway the smut with Jimin when it eventually happen, is just 🥵🥵🥵  → Status: completed. → Word count: 8.2k → Now playing “Theme from McLeod’s Daughters” by Rebecca Lavelle. → Author’s note: this story has been in my head forever, and I’ve spent months outlining it and planning it– so I’m so stoked to finally post it! 🥳 I love both McLeod’s Daughters and BTS, so why not combine it?? I am not sure anybody will read this story, but if you do, thank you! It truly means the world to me. I also want to give a very big thank you and shout out to my dear friend, Lua, for reading it while I worked on it, hyping me up and giving me such fucking wonderful feedback 😭✨ Thank you so much @letjungcoook7 💖🥹 → Read on AO3? [link]

“I said, I wanna touch the earth I wanna break it in my hands I wanna grow something wild and unruly I wanna sleep on the hard ground In the comfort of your arms On a pillow of bluebonnets In a blanket made of stars Oh, it sounds good to me I said, cowboy take me away Fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue Set me free, oh, I pray” - “Cowboy Take Me Away” by The Chicks

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The tires of your car dig into the unforgiving dirt road with a tenacious grip as you navigate the rugged terrain. A symphony of sand and dust dances before the windshield, yet your focus remains unyielding. The landscape is open and inviting, yet there’s tall mountains in the distance framing the idyllic nature. 

The pulsating beat of the music reverberates through the vehicle, echoing the determination coursing through your veins. Your fingers tighten around the wheel, your resolve unshakable. 

Amidst the chaotic whirlwind outside, you’re on a singular quest: to get your sister’s signature to sell your share of the ranch.

You yearn to sever all ties with the place. 

It’s not a matter of hatred, per se, but rather an aversion steeped in memories you’d rather forget. 

The grounds echo with a tapestry of recollections, most of which cling like shadows to the recesses of your mind—a gallery of moments you’re desperate to erase from the canvas of your past.

The passing of your mother, a woman absent from your life for over two decades, casts a melancholic hue over this reunion, that leaves much to be desired.

Separated by the passage of years, your sister remains a distant specter on the horizon of your past. A chapter of familial connection was abruptly closed when your father took you away from the ranch during your formative years, the sprawling fields replaced by the relentless rhythm of the city. 

The city, with its towering structures and ceaseless energy, has woven itself into the fabric of your existence. Amidst the hustle, the stress, the eclectic cafes, and the teeming crowds, you’ve found a peculiar treasure trove of experiences that pulse through your veins like a vibrant heartbeat. The city’s flaws, laid bare like urban scars, only deepen your affection for its complex tapestry, making each chaotic street corner and neon-lit club a cherished fragment in the mosaic of your life.

As an undesired song infiltrates your playlist, you find yourself questioning its very existence on your curated soundtrack. 

Swiftly, you dismiss its intrusion, replacing its notes with the growling intensity of a much angrier anthem. 

The need for focus on this mission is paramount, an unyielding commitment that not even the persuasive tones of Jessi, with all her influence, can sway or alter.

A familiar sign with your family’s last name emerges on the horizon, unleashing a flood of memories from an idyllic childhood—filled with the echoes of hide-and-seek, the warmth of love, and the harmonious symphony of laughter—that paints both your irises and your heart in hues of nostalgia. 

Yet, as your fingers instinctively clench around the steering wheel, you staunchly refuse to be swayed by the emotional undertow. Determination courses through your veins, a steadfast resolve not to let sentiment cloud the clarity of your purpose.

With a resolute spirit, you navigate the winding road that leads to the ranch. 

As the familiar landscape unfurls before you, a creeping uneasiness takes root within the recesses of your being. Despite the passage of two decades, the ranch appears frozen in time, an unchanged picture that sends shivers down your spine. The unsettling familiarity of the place only amplifies the weight of the past, casting a shadow over your determined journey back to a place that seems to have resisted the relentless march of time.

Bringing the car to a halt before the imposing main house, you silence the engine with a decisive twist of the key. A heavy sigh escapes your lips, mingling with the weight of anticipation that hangs in the air. Inhaling deeply, you draw in the essence of the moment, your fingers betraying a nervous rhythm as they tap anxiously against the steering wheel. 

The stillness belies the turmoil surging within, as you ready yourself to encounter the ghost of your past.

A mere thirty minutes— an hour at most, and you’ll resume your journey on the open road, bound for the comfort of home in the city. 

Determination courses through your veins, intertwining with the staccato rhythm of your anxious heartbeat, the pulsations reverberating so forcefully that you can sense them echoing all the way to the depths of your ears. 

The moment your car door swings open, a subtle shift in the wind whispers a tale of transformation. The landscape may echo familiarity, but an intangible alteration lingers in the air, an elusive metamorphosis that leaves you questioning the very essence of this place. Is it a mere illusion, or has something truly shifted, maybe within the confines of your own soul? 

Navigating the uneven terrain in heels proves to be a challenge, but undeterred, you conquer the dirt road and arrive at the tall front door. It stands before you, a sentinel of memories, somehow appearing taller than in recollection. The weathered, dark-red wooden door remains stoically unchanged, a silent witness to the passage of time. 

Two deliberate knocks break the stillness, and you retreat a step, a reverberation of anticipation coursing through the air as you stand on the threshold of both the past and the unknown.

The door frame, once pristine in its white coat, now carry the scars of time, its paint chipped and revealing glimpses of the weathered wood beneath. 

Stationed in front of the door, you endure a suspenseful five minutes, an eternity compressed into every passing second, yet the silence remains unbroken. Undeterred by the absence of response, a resolute determination guides your actions as you seize the handle. With a deliberate press, the handle yields, surrendering to your resolve and releasing a cacophony of creaks—a symphony of protesting hinges announcing your entrance into the realm of memories.

“Hello?” 

Your voice, tinged with uncertainty, dances into the air as you cautiously poke your head through the threshold, a hesitant entry into the familiar realms of the house. 

A gentle warmth envelops you, tenderly kissing your skin and infusing an instant sense of calm. The scent, aged and rich, swirls around you like a tangible embrace of wood and cherished memories from your childhood. The hallway stretches out before you, adorned with snapshots frozen in time—images of you and Jessi playing in the fields, your first pony, and a cherished trio with your mom. Each picture pulses with the erratic beat of your heart, echoing the palpable journey down the corridor of reminiscence. Amidst this gallery of the past, you navigate the tapestry of nostalgia, your destination set on what memory deems to be the kitchen.

The staccato clank of your heels resonates boldly against the unpolished hardwood floor, a deliberate announcement of your presence that reverberates through the silent expanse as you press deeper into the heart of the kitchen. Despite the resounding echo, a mysterious absence lingers, the emptiness amplifying the solitude within the room, a poignant contrast to the persistent cadence of your steps.

Surveying the scene, your eyes capture the delicate dance of white curtains adorned with lace, their elegance offering a stark contrast to the weathered state of the kitchen. Time has etched its story on the cabinets, pleading for a rejuvenating touch—maybe a cleansing and a new coat of color to breathe life into the tired, faded cream. A wistful smile graces your lips, an emotive response to the tactile connection forged as your fingers trace the countertop. The surface, a touch dusty yet evocative, sparks an odd familiarity, transporting you to a realm of forgotten times and the comforting essence of what was once home.

A sudden voice startles you from your reverie, its unexpected presence slicing through the air like a well-timed interruption in the symphony of memories. 

“Can I help you?”

A jolt courses through your body, a startled response to the abrupt intrusion of the voice, yet you pivot on your heels, meeting the owner of the enigmatic, yet somehow airy, tones. 

In the face of the unexpected presence, you lock eyes with the source, a meeting that feels like a convergence of past and present, each heartbeat resonating with the electric charge surging through your body.

A nervous chuckle escapes you, the residue of your earlier determination dissipating in the charged air as you assess the man standing before you. 

His eyes, a deep and authoritative brown, lock onto yours, unraveling a silent narrative in their depths. Blonde and untamed, his long hair falls with a disheveled grace, framing a face that exudes both strength and mystery. His slender physique conceals well-defined, lean muscles beneath the snug embrace of a gray shirt, each contour subtly hinting at the strength within. Clad in blue denim jeans with artful rips at the bottom, and adorned with chunky western boots boasting intricate ornaments, he carries an aura of rugged elegance. 

“Can I help you?” he repeats, the query hanging in the air like an unspoken challenge. 

Crossing his arms over a torso that amplifies the definition of his biceps, his deliberate posture commands attention, drawing your gaze to the undeniable display of strength.

“I’m so sorry,” you quip nervously, a hint of self-awareness coloring your tone. Inwardly, you curse the fact that you were caught in the act of checking him out, and you’ve yet to acknowledge the man properly. “I’m looking for Jessi?”

A low, rumbling chuckle escapes the man, accompanied by a soft smile that carries a subtle mystique, rendering his eyes nearly elusive. 

“Who are you?” he inquires, his arms still defiantly crossed, and a flicker of realization dawns upon you—this interaction holds a peculiar tension. The awareness sets in that, in essence, you are an intruder, a stranger trespassing into the intimate space of a home that isn’t yours anymore. 

“I’m Jessi’s sister,” you declare, a succinct introduction that hangs in the air. His response is a simple “Oh,” a word that resonates with a spectrum of unspoken sentiments. 

As his arms fall to his sides, his posture eases into a more relaxed stance, and his gaze, now unhindered by the barricade of crossed arms, traverses the contours of your figure. Your choice of attire—heels and a summer dress that daringly grazes your thighs—doesn’t escape his notice. 

You sense his eyes lingering on your exposed legs for a beat longer than societal norms might deem appropriate.

You find yourself unapologetically appreciating his attractiveness, recognizing the allure that binds both of you in a silent dance of mutual fascination.

“You don’t remember me?” 

His question pierces through the air, catching you off guard, and instinctively, you lean back against the countertop. A subtle shake of your head accompanies the inquiry, and as you witness a shadow of sadness flicker across his eyes, an unexpected weight sinks into the chambers of your heart. The unspoken question lingers—should you know this man?

“It’s me, Jimin,” he asserts with a voice steeped in pride and certainty, a declaration that sets your mind into a whirlwind of attempted recollection. His name resonates with a familiarity that dances on the periphery of your memory, like an elusive wisp slipping through the cracks of forgotten moments. 

“Park?” 

You question with a voice that wavers in uncertainty, the mere utterance of the name carrying the weight of a fragile hope. As the word escapes your lips, you cling to the fragile threads of memory, desperately seeking confirmation that you’ve pieced together the puzzle of identity correctly.

“Yeah! Don’t you remember? We played together when we were kids,” he chuckles warmly, the nostalgia of shared memories evident in his eyes.  

With a warm gesture, he invites you to take a seat, a silent acknowledgment of the intricacies of your shared history. As he crosses the room to the sink, a subtle limp marks his stride—a detail you keenly observe as you pull out a chair. Your curiosity about his altered gait tugs at your thoughts, begging for expression, yet you restrain the impulse, deeming it too forward. Silently, you observe him reaching for a glass from the overhead cabinet, pouring water with a practiced ease. 

“Here you go,” he offers, placing the glass before you. As you take it, your fingers brush momentarily, and an unexpected electric jolt courses through your body. You respond with a sheepish smile, expressing gratitude for the simple gesture. “Jessi is out riding; she’ll be back soon.” 

You nod, the cool touch of the glass against your lips serving as a momentary distraction from the impending wait. As you take a measured sip of water, the realization sinks in — a quiet acknowledgment that the road back home may stretch longer than initially anticipated.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” he offers his condolences, and a palpable pain reflects in his eyes. The depth of his empathy hints at a connection with your mother that might surpass your own or maybe, he carries the weight of loss in his own experiences. Regardless, you express gratitude, but as you do, a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders accompanies your words. “It’s whatever,” you say, attempting to downplay the complexity of emotions that linger beneath the surface, yet the weight of grief echoes in the unspoken spaces between you.

He offers a minuscule smile, a mere flicker that fails to reach the depths of his eyes, and a subtle shift in the atmosphere becomes palpable. A quiet tension weaves through the kitchen, the air thickening with unspoken complexities. It’s as if the very walls themselves have become sentient, closing in with a slow and deliberate intent, creating an immersive sense of confinement that mirrors the unexplored territories of emotions lingering between you and Jimin.

The rhythmic clank of boots announces her arrival before she materializes in the doorway — Jessi, a force of raw determination, a cascade of muttered curse words trailing in her wake. 

With an aura of purpose, she strides into the kitchen, a whirlwind of energy that disrupts the tension-laden air.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” she demands, a subtle undercurrent of anger weaving through her voice as her gaze fixes on Jimin. 

You sense that you’ve slipped beneath her radar for now. Jimin responds with a casual chuckle, turning his head in your direction. In that moment, you feel the weight of her steel gaze bore into you.

You observe the subtle tensing of her body, her gaze meticulously scrutinizing every inch of you. Arms crossed defensively, she acknowledges your presence with a guarded stance. 

“Long time no see. What do you want?” The words, delivered with an edge that slices through the air, reverberate with a mix of curiosity and suspicion, embodying the complex web of emotions that intertwine your shared history.

Your lips involuntarily tighten, the already tense atmosphere escalating to an almost suffocating degree as Jessi’s presence intensifies. A rhythmic tapping of her foot reverberates through the room, an erratic metronome that hints at a cocktail of emotions—maybe nervousness, maybe anger, the fine line between the two eluding your understanding. 

“The inheritance,” you utter, and a visible transformation sweeps over Jessi. Her countenance, already frosty, plunges into an even colder abyss. The pallor that washes over her skin accentuates the darkness of her brown, curly hair, transforming it into a cascade that seems to absorb the shadows of her perturbed soul.

A nervous gulp echoes in the charged silence, your attempt to fortify a wavering resolve. The mission is clear — secure her signature, liberate yourself, and sever the lingering ties. The weight of unspoken history and familial complexities hangs in the air, urging you to complete this fraught encounter, hoping that once the ink meets the paper, you’ll leave and never bother her again.

“I want to sell my share of the ranch. I just need your signature.”

The declaration hangs in the charged air, a revelation that sends a ripple through the room. Jimin tenses visibly, gaping in clear surprise at your bold proclamation. Your sister, on the other hand, is barely faring any better. The undercurrents of anger surge to the surface, a tempest of emotions that bobs precariously, threatening to breach the veneer of composure that barely holds. 

She hisses, the sound cutting through the charged silence like a serpent’s warning, and grinds her teeth together with a simmering intensity. “You’re not getting that,” she declares with a venomous resolve, the words laced with an unmistakable determination that resonates with the unyielding clash of wills in the room. 

The sternness and anger in her voice reverberate through the room, creating an invisible barrier. Undeterred, you summon a quiet resolve and press forward, attempting to cut through the emotional tempest that surrounds her. “I just need your signature, and then I can go,” your words, a delicate plea amidst the tumultuous clash of emotions, hang in the air, a fragile bridge between the chasm of familial discord and the resolution you seek.

She strides purposefully towards you, anger etching furrows into her brows. Coming to a halt just before your seated form, she looms over you with a fiery intensity in her eyes. 

“No. Get the fuck out,” she commands, the force behind her words reverberating in the charged space between you. The air crackles with the energy of unresolved conflicts, and her words hang in the air like a proclamation, leaving no room for negotiation.

Jimin’s expression no longer holds surprise, his features now marked by a disapproving shake of his head. As Jessi retreats from you, turning with a storm brewing in her wake, the kitchen becomes an echoing chamber of unresolved tensions. She storms out, leaving you and Jimin in the wake of her departure, the remnants of conflict lingering in the air like an unspoken presence that refuses to dissipate. 

You clench your hands into tight fists, the physical manifestation of the internal turmoil that courses through you. The realization dawns, like a belated epiphany, that her vehement reaction was all but predictable. A heavy sigh escapes your lips, and you slump back into the chair, the weight of disappointment settling upon you like a shroud. This isn’t unfolding as you had envisioned.

The wind whips through, mercilessly tossing your hair into a chaotic dance across your face. Grumbling, you navigate the exterior of the main house, entering a realm where nature and grandeur coalesce. The yard unfolds before you, a testament to meticulous care, stretching expansively with paddocks extending for miles. To the left, a substantial stable stands as a regal sentinel, while to the right, three cottages punctuate the landscape.

Your gaze sweeps across the panoramic expanse, capturing the undulating beauty of the paddocks that cascade over the hills while the sun slowly sets. Cows and horses graze lazily, mere dots in the vast canvas of the countryside. The scene unfolds before you like a living painting, each blade of grass, each creature contributing to the symphony of nature. Amidst this serene image, you find yourself standing at the crossroads of contemplation, pondering the labyrinth of decisions that now lay before you.

Jessi won’t give you her signature, and you need her damn ink on that paper to be able to sell your share of the ranch.

Maybe if you get on her good side, she’ll reconsider? It’s worth a try at least.

“Hi,” a lilting female voice disrupts the current of your thoughts, a melodic intrusion that yanks you back from the recesses of contemplation. Your pivot is swift, attention now redirected to the stranger who has materialized behind you.

Her hand extends gracefully towards you, a gesture that transcends the usual formalities. “I’m Soo-ah, one of the stable hands here,” she introduces herself with an easy confidence, her words resonating with a sense of belonging and familiarity within the expansive realm of the ranch.

“Ah, hi,” you muse with a soft smile, extending a handshake that bridges the gap between stranger and newfound acquaintance. Her stature is modest, a curvature of curves, with a disarming smile that reveals a charming imperfection in the form of endearing crooked teeth. Clad in short denim shorts adorned with delicate white lace on the trim and a pink tank top, she exudes an aura of comfort and warmth. Her eyes, a mesmerizing shade of blue, gleam with a radiance that speaks of love and hope, amplified by the contrast against her sun-kissed tan skin.

“Your trip didn’t go according to plan?” she inquires, the gentle cadence of her question accompanied by the sweep of a hand, gracefully gathering her long blonde hair away from her face. 

A chuckle escapes you, accompanied by a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders, as you confess, “Not really.”

“You know, this place means a lot to Jessi. It’s her home. She wouldn’t want you to sell your share for some random people to buy it or worse, use the land for housing or something.” Her eyes mirror the softness of her words, and a gentle smile graces her lips, a gesture that carries an unexpected soothing effect on your conflicted heart. 

The weight of her words settles on your conscience, a realization you had secretly dreaded. You grasp the depth of your sister’s emotional connection to this land, an affection you once shared but have since outgrown. The prospect of selling your share, allowing strangers to lay claim to the cherished homestead, unfolds before you, and you acknowledge why Jessi vehemently opposes it. Yet, your heart remains indifferent to the sentimental ties that bind others to this place. It ceased being home long ago, and the notion of it ever regaining that status in your life appears as elusive as a distant memory fading into the horizon.

“Say what. It’s late, and dinner’s almost ready. Why don’t you come eat with us and meet the rest of the gang? After that, I’ll show you one of the guest rooms!” Her invitation resonates with a contagious enthusiasm, her voice exuding a warmth that almost verges on giddy. The surge of energy she emanates feels almost overwhelming, a stark contrast to the subdued atmosphere that has accompanied your arrival.

“I haven’t packed anything. I didn’t plan on staying…” you mumble, your words trailing off into the evening breeze. Despite your half-hearted protest, she seizes your hand and playfully pulls you towards the main house. Reluctance threads through your steps, a tangible resistance to the unexpected detour that fate seems to be orchestrating. 

“There’s a guest room in the house, and you can borrow some clothes from Jessi or me. Those heels and that dress aren’t exactly farm-friendly attire.” She laughs, a melody of warmth that resonates through the short walk to the house. Soo-ah guides you to the guest room where you’ll be spending the night, and then you both make your way to the kitchen. 

There, you encounter another enchanting presence—a statuesque woman, tall and slender, her ebony hair culminating at her neck. Her eyes, a captivating shade of incredibly dark brown, bordering on obsidian, stand out against her lovely fair white skin. Clad in a simple yet elegant ensemble of a dark t-shirt paired with dark blue denim jeans, she moves gracefully around the kitchen, orchestrating what appears to be a culinary feast in the making. 

“I’m Ha-rin.” A casual wave accompanies her introduction, a seamless dance of gestures as she deftly grabs a handful of vegetables with the other hand.

“This is Jessi’s sister,” Soo-ah introduces you with a warm smile, and Ha-rin nods in a gesture that suggests a preexisting understanding. “How can we help?” she inquires, her words carrying a blend of genuine curiosity and an unspoken readiness to extend hospitality. 

“You can set the table. I’m almost done with the food,” she declares, seamlessly transitioning to the task of cutting carrots with a professional speed that leaves you duly impressed.

Soo-ah guides you to the location of plates and glasses, and in a synchronized dance, you both embark on setting the table in the dining room. The collaborative effort carries an unexpected warmth, a departure from the solitary routine you’ve grown accustomed to. The act of sharing this communal task conjures a sense of nostalgia; it’s been a long time since you’ve partaken in such simple yet meaningful rituals. Your dining experiences have often been solitary, occasionally shared with a partner, although those instances are rare occurrences in the tapestry of your solitary meals.

In no time, Ha-rin completes the culinary masterpiece, presenting a spread of oven-cooked chicken, a colorful assortment of vegetables, and tantalizing kimchi. The table becomes a canvas adorned with the promise of a delectable feast. As you all take your seats, another presence joins the gathering—Ara, a tall woman with big brown eyes and chocolate-brown hair cascading gracefully over her shoulders. Her curves and paler skin distinguish her from Ha-rin, yet she radiates the same warmth that characterizes the group. 

The door swings open, and into the room strides your sister, a pronounced frown etching lines of disapproval on her face the moment her sharp eyes lock onto your figure seated at her dining table. 

“Didn’t I tell you to leave?” Her voice cuts through the air, laden with an undeniable tension that hangs like a storm cloud, casting a shadow over the gathering. 

With an exasperated roll of your eyes, you confront the directness that has always characterized Jessi, even if it doesn’t always come across as nice. “It’s getting dark, and Soo-ah graciously provided me with a room for the night. I’m not leaving until I get your signature,” you assert, the declaration hanging in the air like an unyielding challenge. 

Jessi’s voice carries a distinct air of deflation, and it becomes evident that obtaining her signature won’t be a victory achieved tonight, if at all. Resigned, she takes her place at the head of the table, a silent acknowledgment of the impasse. 

A stretch of silence envelops the dining room as everyone engages in the act of eating, a temporary truce. However, the calm is shattered as Jessi, unable to contain her emotions any longer, erupts like a dormant volcano. “Why can’t you just keep your share of the ranch, huh?” Her words punctuate the air, each question a stab to the atmosphere, accentuated by the forceful plunge of her fork into the unfortunate chicken.

“Honestly?” You draw in a deep breath, preparing for the verbal fallout, fully aware that you’ve stepped into a minefield. “I just need the money.” The words hang in the air, a stark admission that lays bare your motivations. Jessi’s frown deepens, her disapproving expression not eliciting the slightest surprise from you. 

“Why can’t you just buy my share?” The words escape you in a frustrated huff, irritation building with each passing moment. Jessi’s ability to get on your nerves becomes increasingly evident, a skill she’s always excelled at. 

“I don’t have the money to buy you out,” she states bluntly, her voice carrying a mix of blankness and anger, turning the tension at the table sour. Your plate, once adorned with the delicious offerings crafted by Ha-rin, now sits neglected, the food losing its appeal in the wake of the strained conversation. What a shame, you think, as the beautifully prepared meal becomes a casualty of the familial clash, and your appetite dissipates like the vanishing aroma of an abandoned feast.

“Why are you so mad at me?” you sputter out in frustration, resisting the almost overwhelming urge to pull at your hair in exasperation. The room echoes with a tense silence, interrupted only by the subtle sound of your sister’s scuff, a precursor to the deep inhale that precedes the unleashing of her fury upon you.

“I haven’t seen you in twenty years. You stomp in here, wanting to take my home away from me. And you didn’t even attend Mom’s funeral. Some balls you have.” Her voice is stern, each word laced with venom, and her glare cuts through you like a knife. To punctuate her disapproval, she slams her hands down hard on the table. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” 

Then she stomps off. At least she has some manners, you think, acknowledging the begrudging ’goodnight’ she offered. Nevertheless, you sigh, the rest of the girls casting pitiful glances in your direction.

You lean back in the chair, contemplating the daunting challenge of ever getting on your sister’s good side. The prospect seems as elusive as catching a shooting star, an almost impossible mission. Just as you sink into the depths of your thoughts, Ara shatters your contemplation with a beaming smile. “We’re having a party tomorrow. Won’t you stay for that?”

You take a few seconds to mull over her offer: a party in the countryside does sound intriguing, but the prospect of extended time with a sister who harbors animosity towards you gives you pause. Soo-ah, sensing your hesitation, steps in with a persuasive grin, “There’ll be hot men!”

Then, in an instant, thoughts of Jimin flood your mind, and the prospect of his presence at the party becomes a tantalizing factor. A glimmer of optimism flickers; maybe attending won’t be as unbearable as you initially thought. Contemplating the possibility of a good time, you decide, “Who can say no to that?”

A forced laugh escapes your lips, but within it, there’s a hint of genuine enjoyment. Sometimes, you remind yourself, you have to fake it until you make it.

The barn pulsates with the rhythm of the music, a lively mix of country tunes, not exactly your preferred genre, yet the melodies weave seamlessly into the rustic ambiance. Couples and friends sway to the slow beats on the dance floor, creating an intimate atmosphere that, despite your initial reservations, feels oddly fitting. Most attendees linger along the walls engaged in conversation, and as your eyes scan the scene, you notice a handful of men. The girls weren’t exaggerating – the company includes some undeniably attractive men.

The majority of women sport casual dresses, much like the one you’ve borrowed from Ha-rin. Clad in a long black lace dress that subtly accentuates your curves, you navigate the sea of familiar and unfamiliar faces. In stark contrast, Jessi’s attire veers towards practicality – shirt, jeans and boots, a reflection of her enduring tomboyish nature. While you entertain a fleeting thought about the silliness of her choice for a party, a deeper understanding dawns. She’s always been more practical, and her choice of clothes tonight might align with that too. 

Surveying the lively scene again, your eyes lock onto your sister, deeply engrossed in a conversation with Jimin, an interaction that sparks both curiosity and a twinge of apprehension within you. 

As Ha-rin diligently tends to the culinary offerings, ensuring a variety of light snacks for everyone, Soo-ah and Ara steal the spotlight on the improvised dance floor. Their laughter echoes through the barn, a harmonious blend of joy and camaraderie, and you can’t help but be drawn into the dynamic and diverse interactions unfolding around you.

Turning on your heels, a craving for the crisp embrace of fresh air seizes you. Opting for the subtlety of a quiet exit, you make your way toward the back door of the barn. The metallic touch of the door handle graces your palm with a forgiving chill, a stark departure from the warmth and vibrancy pulsating within. Pushing the door ajar, the night air rushes to greet your face, prompting a sigh of contemplation. 

However, as you step outside, your serenity shatters with a startle – a towering, muscular figure leans against the barn, arms crossed, waiting in the shadows of the night.

A startled yelp escapes your lips, accompanied by an inadvertent inhalation of lingering smoke in the air. The features of the stranger remain elusive, shrouded in the haze, as they release a deep and resonant chuckle in response to your momentary disarray. 

“Scaredy-cat?” he teases, the resonance of his laughter causing an animated jiggle through his entire upper body. Your gaze inadvertently drifts to his well-defined pectorals, emphasized by the snug fit of his ripped tank top. The exact hue of the fabric eludes you in the dim light, a mysterious darkness with a hint of, maybe, deep blue.

You approach him, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance, though inwardly acknowledging the undeniable truth – you are indeed a scaredy-cat. Closing the distance, your eyes trace a path from his broad shoulders down his right arm, a canvas adorned with a full sleeve of tattoos. Among the intricate designs, some manifest in striking black and white, while others burst forth with vivid splashes of color, each telling a silent tale waiting to be unraveled.

Approaching him, you realize you’ve left his question hanging in the air. Coming to a halt in front of this enigmatic figure, you find yourself captivated by his deep, dark brown eyes. In the obscurity of the night, tiny glints of light echo the stars above, gleaming in his gaze. His pitch black long hair, with small curls at the end, frame his handsome face. Contrary to the rugged bulk of his body, his facial features exude a surprising softness. Thick, black eyebrows frame his expressive eyes, while a slim, pointed nose adds to the symphony of features. A sharp, defined jawline contrasts with the plushness of his rosy lips, gently circling a half-smoked cigarette.

“Jessi’s sister, huh?” He inhales deeply from his cigarette, exhaling a plume of smoke that dances in the air beside you. 

“Y-Yes,” you stammer nervously, a feeble symphony to the deep timbre of his laughter. Nonetheless, you summon the courage to introduce yourself, your name a tentative melody lingering in the night air.

“I’m Jungkook.” He announces, the remnants of the cigarette meeting its demise beneath the sole of his boot, extinguishing any lingering embers. A subtle caution against the spark that could set the night ablaze.

“You look hot. Want to make out?” His gaze boldly traces over you, and a sudden self-consciousness grips you in the delicate embrace of your lace dress. Your cheeks ignite in a bright red flush, caught off guard by the unexpected boldness of his proposition.

Your flabbergasted expression seems to amuse him, and his laughter echoes, revealing an endearing smile that prompts a soft, airy chuckle to escape your lips in response.

“I’m serious, you know,” he says, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Another blush creeps up on you at his bluntness. Initially thinking he was joking, you now realize he’s actually serious. As you assess him, you can’t deny his incredible attractiveness, coupled with a nice smile and soft eyes. Maybe he can’t be all bad, right?

You saunter closer, conducting a swift yet thorough assessment of him. With a teasing lick of your lips, you signal that you’re up for the game. “Sure.”

In a bold surge, he captures your lips, biting down on your lower lip as if seeking entrance. Yielding to the magnetic pull, your tongues engage in a fiery dance. His hands firmly grip your shoulders, giving a reassuring squeeze before deftly maneuvering you against the wall.

In a ravenous and swift embrace, his lips claim yours, leaving you breathless when he breaks away, his gaze smoldering with a lustful intensity that ignites a fiery sensation beneath your skin. Though not one to engage in impulsive encounters, the intoxicating allure of the moment fans the flames of excitement within you. Reminding yourself of the imminent departure tomorrow, you boldly lean in, craving another taste, and surrender to the intoxicating dance of desire.

As the kiss deepens, his demeanor doesn’t exude sweetness or tenderness, and strangely, you find solace in that. After all, tomorrow marks your return home. The intensity of his kiss, possessive and profound, spirals you into a mindless whirlwind, your thoughts dissipating into nothingness, overwhelmed by the feeling of his rugged frame pressed firmly against yours.

His gravelly voice breaks the kiss momentarily as he breathlessly declares, “Your lips are so damn soft.” 

Locking eyes with you, he plunges back into the intoxicating exchange, this time with an urgent and fervent intensity that mirrors his escalating desire, leaving little room for restraint.

Your fingers dig into the firm contours of his hips, tracing an electrifying path along the sculpted landscape of his toned body. The rhythmic play of his muscles beneath your touch is a tactile symphony, every ridge and sinew a testament to his strength, creating an intricate dance beneath the fabric of his shirt.

His lips embark on a tantalizing journey, lingering on your cheek with teasing kisses before reaching your ear. A low, guttural growl escapes his lips as he presses his pelvis against you, sending a bolt of electricity through your body. The warmth of his breath against your ear ignites a wildfire of sensations, and the undeniable presence of his arousal is impossible to ignore. Control slips away like sand through your fingers, and you find yourself succumbing to the irresistible pull of desire.

You bite down on your lips, the struggle to suppress a moan palpable. Despite the lively party unfolding just a breath away, Jungkook possesses an uncanny ability to whisk you into a world of his own creation, making the chaotic celebration fade into insignificance.

His hands explore the contours of your breasts, coaxing a soft moan from your lips. The absence of padding in your bra leaves your nipples immediately responsive to his teasing fingers. Sensations surge through you, and as your panties cling uncomfortably, an urgent desire to shed them intensifies.

His breath hot against your ear, he whispers, “I want to fuck you so bad, can I?”

The firm squeeze on your breasts sends a wave of desire through you. Fuck. The craving intensifies, and the anticipation of being with him grows insatiable. It’s been an eternity since you felt this desire, and you’re already on the edge, yearning for his touch.

Your response escapes in a breathy whisper, “Hell yes.” 

Your fingers find purchase on the contours of his chest, seeking stability amid the whirlwind of desire that envelops you both.

The symphony of desire crescendos as you catch the melodic jingle of his belt being undone, the tantalizing slide of metal against leather, and the whisper of a zipper surrendering its secrets. Soon, his jeans cascade down, pooling around his knees.

Your curiosity takes over, compelling you to cast an audacious gaze downward, and even through the fabric of his underwear, the impressive outline of his arousal is undeniable. The undeniable bulge hints at a restrained intensity, and summoning your courage, you boldly cup him, your touch sending a low, guttural groan reverberating through the charged air.

“Are you good to go without any prep?” His question, a tantalizing whisper in your ear, sends shivers down your spine, and the resonant, lust-laden timbre of his voice resonates deep within you. 

Nodding in affirmation, you can’t help but bite your lip, feeling the promise of an exhilarating encounter ahead. “Yes,” you murmur, a breathy admission to the impending intensity.

As he lowers his underwear, his dick is unleashed, an impressive display of length and girth, veins tracing its sculpted form. The engorged head, flushed and intense, undergoes a few suggestive strokes from his skilled hands, droplets of precum glistening as they descend to the ground below.

His touch is commanding, fingers tracing a path down the contours of your dress, gathering the fabric in his strong grip. Swiftly, his hands venture beneath, reaching the apex of your panties. In one bold motion, he removes them, allowing them to cascade to the ground as you gracefully step out, shedding inhibitions along with the delicate undergarment.

Unexpectedly, he seizes your hips, effortlessly lifting you into the air. As you leap, your legs instinctively wrap around his tiny waist, aligning your bare core with his throbbing dick, a subtle gasp escaping your lips as your wetness coats his cock.

A soft moan escapes your lips at the tantalizing contact, and Jungkook, seizing the opportunity, grips your supple curves, pressing you firmly against the wall for stability. Skillfully, he produces a condom out of thin air, wraps his cock with it and positions his dick at the entrance of your eager pussy. Your hands instinctively clutch his neck, a mixture of anticipation and desire written across your face as you brace yourself for the impending ecstasy. With a devious smile playing on his lips, he tantalizingly teases the velvety folds of your cunt with the head of his cock. But the pretense of gentleness is short-lived, as he discards any lingering pleasantries and thrusts his dick into your warm and eager core in one seamless motion.

A gasp escapes your lips as an exquisite stretch engulfs you, momentarily testing your limits. Yet, the generous coating of your arousal ensures that the discomfort swiftly transforms into an intoxicating wave of pleasure, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake.

He moves with an urgency that suggests an impending deadline, setting a pace that mirrors a sense of immediacy, as if time is a luxury he can’t afford. The reasons behind his haste remain a mystery, and in this moment, you find yourself indifferent to the ticking clock, wholly absorbed in the intensity of the present.

“Mmmhh. You’re so tight.” 

You gasp at the force of his thrusts, feeling the impact resonate through your body as your back collides with the wall. The slight discomfort is eclipsed by the overwhelming pleasure, and his raspy pants only intensify the raw, visceral connection between you, each movement a symphony of pleasure and urgency. He thrusts forcefully, plunging into the depth of your pussy.

Wrapping your legs around him, you greedily pull him closer, breathless huffs escaping your lips with each relentless thrust. “Yes! Right there!” The pleasure becomes almost blinding as he unerringly targets that sweet, sensitive spot, sending shockwaves of pleasure that build an exquisite tension, promising an impending climax that pulses in the depths of your core.

“Shit.” He pants huskily into your ear, a shiver running down your spine in response. The intensity of his thrusts is unparalleled, each powerful movement leaving an indelible mark on your senses. The realization hits you that tomorrow might bring soreness, but in the heat of the moment, with a dick this good, you decide it’s a price worth paying.

Your moans have evolved into uninhibited symphonies, each thrust hitting that exquisite spot that sends shockwaves through your body. The coil in your tummy tightens, ready to snap, just waiting for that final nudge to propel you over the edge. “I’m so close.”

Jungkook’s grip on your ass tightens, but with skilled precision, he frees one hand and navigates it down the narrow space between your bodies. Despite the limited room, his large hand finds your clit and begins to rhythmically rub it to the beat of his thrusts. The sensation is mind-blowing. Every rub and thrust unravel your body, sending waves of ecstasy through every inch of your being.

Then he leans in, his hot breath grazing your ear, and he moans, pushing you right over the edge, “Come on my cock, pretty.”

“Jungkook!” You pant his name erratically as the coil inside snaps, and you release your fluid over his cock, synchronized with his relentless thrusts. You gasp for air, momentarily feeling your vision blur as your orgasm surges through your spent body.

He keeps thrusting into you, and you feel utterly spent, so you’re just hanging on and clinging to him for dear life. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, closing your eyes as he relentlessly fucks you, searching for his own sweet release.

At a particularly hard thrust, you open your eyes, and they collide with a figure standing in the shadows. 

Brown eyes and blonde hair meet yours. 

You gulp, feeling your core clench instinctively. 

It’s Jimin. 

His eyes reflect a mix of sadness and disappointment as they lock onto yours for a few lingering moments. He turns away and retreats back into the lively party. You don’t appreciate the unsettling expression on Jimin’s face, but there’s little you can do about it now. A strange and disconcerting feeling settles in your stomach.

“Fuck, you just got tighter, babe. I’m almost there.” His hands tighten their grip, his biceps flexing as he pulls you closer, syncing your movements with the intensity of his thrusts.

You sense Jungkook’s thrusts growing more erratic, a telltale sign he’s close. Despite his exhaustion, he strives to give his all in those final fervent moments, and you feel the warmth of his release filling the condom inside you as his pace slows. He’s visibly breathless, and you empathize; after all, he exerted himself, utilizing every ounce of strength to keep you elevated. In his position, you’d likely be a panting mess on the ground.

“You good?” He inquires, scrutinizing your expression. Whether he discerns the melancholy etched on your face or not, he doesn’t comment. Gently withdrawing from you and discarding the condom, he steadies you on shaky legs. You respond with a pensive smile and a nod. The night was undeniably enjoyable, yet Jimin’s forlorn gaze lingers in your thoughts, casting a shadow over the post-passion atmosphere.

“I had a good time, thank you.” You muster a smile, though it feels a bit strained. Whether he perceives it or not is uncertain, and even if he does, you doubt it holds much significance to him.

“Same here. Thanks, babe.” His laughter rumbles as he rights himself, adjusting his underwear and fastening his pants. As he tends to his attire, you scan the floor for your abandoned panties.

As you retrieve them, you notice the dirt clinging to the delicate fabric, deciding against putting them on. Instead, you allow them to slip from your grasp, figuring you’ll retrieve them tomorrow for a wash. The last thing you want is to flaunt dirty underwear at the party.

Jungkook strides confidently back into the lively party, and you trail closely in his wake, anticipation and a lingering heat coloring the air around you.

As you reenter the vibrant party scene, a sudden hush falls over the crowd, and the weight of all eyes on you feels like an invisible spotlight, making you wish for a momentary escape beneath the ground.

As you scan the crowd for Jimin, your gaze briefly collides with his, only to witness him quickly diverting his eyes elsewhere. 

A perplexing mix of emotions lingers in his gaze—maybe hurt or frustration. Puzzled, you question the impact of your intimate encounter outside, contemplating why he might be affected when, by all accounts, you share no significant ties.

As you enter the dining room, the tempting aroma of Ha-rin’s carefully prepared breakfast envelops you, offering a flavorful farewell before you embark on your journey back to the bustling city.

As you approach the table, a surprising sense of harmony fills the room, with everyone already seated, including Jessi, who appears to be in higher spirits—maybe fueled by the knowledge that she’s getting rid of you today.

Soo-ah’s eyes sweep the table, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she starts, “ I discovered a pair of lacy red panties outside the barn this morning.”

You nearly choke on your food, a sudden realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. “Shit. Those are mine. Completely slipped my mind. My bad.”

All eyes suddenly fixate on you, their curiosity palpable. Soo-ah’s gaze is practically bulging out of her eyes, Ara looks equally stunned, and Ha-rin can’t help but release an amused ‘ooohh’. Even Jessi, with her usual nonchalant demeanor, can’t completely hide the flicker of intrigue in her eyes as she rolls them at the unfolding gossip.

Curiosity and a mischievous glint spark in Ara’s big brown doe eyes as she leans forward, her cheeks tinted with a hint of red, and pops the question, “Who did you fuck?”

Between casual bites of scrambled eggs, you drop the bombshell, “A guy named Jungkook. You know him?” The nonchalance in your tone does little to mask the intrigue dancing in your eyes, leaving the table hanging on your every word.

A heavy hush descends upon the table, and you scan the faces around you, perplexed by the sudden silence. Disapproval lingers in Jessi’s slow shake of the head, while the exchange of disconcerting glances among the girls hints at a shared, unspoken concern.

“What’s wrong?” Concern etches your voice as you inquire, the subtle panic seeping through, unable to grasp the sudden tension enveloping the table.

Soo-ah leans in dramatically, her words hanging in the air like a heavy secret. “You fucked Jungkook,” she drawls, the gravity of her statement sinking in, and a chill coursing through your veins. “The same Jungkook who’s been with half the town—Park Jungkook.” The weight of his name leaves you wide-eyed, a sinking feeling settling in your gut.

Your jaw practically hits the floor, or it would if that were humanly possible. Park? Jungkook and Jimin are brothers?

Fuck.

→ Requested series taglist: @kookswifesblog, @kiki-zb, @babejinnie, @ownthesunshine, @allie-is-a-panda, @glllhjh, @bergandysam, @13-manggaetteok, @jeonsbabygirlsworld, @antisocial-mochi267

→ Permanent taglist: @nora12379, @jeonsbabygirlsworld, @fancypeacepersona, @ktownshizzle, @pjmxxjm, @ajoonniice, @kookiewithluv, @mikrokookiex, @rapmonjoon94, @parkitrighthere

→ Author’s endnote: Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I would very much appreciate it if you reblogged the chapter, if you liked it ✨ A small review or a comment would also mean a lot to me, and even a like. But please, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think; your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜 Omg 🫢 How did you like the ending??? I hope you won’t be too mad… The fling with Jungkook only happens this one time, but necessary to happen for the rest of the story to make sense 🥲

© @/kingofbodyrolls 2024 // Please don’t copy or repost! You are more than welcome to reblog it, leave a comment or ask me anything about the story 🥰

[takemeorleaveme]

Honestly I’m tired of people talking about buddie shippers not getting the joke and that buck was obviously flirting atp I don’t fucking care about that dumbass joke or that whack ass 50 sec awkward ass date anymore I don’t like them I will never like them there is never gonna be a chance for me to ever like Tommy ever again even if by some miracle that guy became the most talented actor on earth and the writing for it got better I will never like them and atp it also has nothing to do with buddie I will never like Tommy I will never like buckTommy because that man that plays him is actual garbage he’s not a good person at all and everytime i see posts from BT fans or even some buddie fans saying we are doing to much not liking him for no reason I don’t give a flying fuck anymore I’m gonna continue to tell them what a piece of garbage he is. You wanna support that guess what you’re trash too IDC it’s not even 10 year old post anymore because he posted a fucking ableist meme about spitting on blind kids while working on show with Gavin… the man is a disgusting human being. He’s a creep as well cause he literally has posts that prove that he is that creepy guy who take pictures of women’s asses in the gym not to mention he posted an ableist joke meme to combat the call out for his racist joke memes and then proceeded to delete said racist memes but kept all the other weird memes up i don’t give a fuck if it was 10 years ago you know how old he was 10 years ago 30 he was 30 and instead of taking accountability and apologizing like a MAN he started blocking people. & not to mention the stupid ass cameos that are probably making his ego so big and why he looks uninterested in any bts video with the cast of 911 cause he has a cult following of weird fucks who are spending hundreds of dollars to hear him talk about what he thinks BT is and will be and they take that and run with it even though in the actual show BT are severely underdeveloped and poorly written and have no chemistry at all because Lou can’t act to save his own life that’s why he has very little lines to say and has weird ass one liners. That guy is a creepy weird fucking racist who supports trump the opposite of Oliver Stark btw and if you choose to if you ignore it and make up excuses for that man I’m gonna assume you are just as bad as him. & I don’t want to hear no bullshit about why did they have to go and dig stuff up just because they want buddie to happen and are jealous why the fuck does he have shit to dig up in the first place as an “actor” he kept that weird shit up also the fact that people are mad that it was dug up and not mad at him for being a shitty human speaks volumes ya’ll ride him so hard and for what he don’t care about you he wants your money he probably don’t even care about the show or the ship ya’ll are just obviously very easy to manipulate and use and he sees that and he’s cashing in. It’s embarrassing!

[sunsetsandsunshine]

PLEASE READ THIS ASK. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

Um..... hi.

It's the Silent Giggler.

I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to rn but I wanted to apologise properly for what I said to you earlier today.

It was rude and uncalled for. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote comment, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour.

I wanted to apologise for ruining your Halloween.

You're a really kind person and an amazing writer and I didn't appreciate that.

You're not an AI that can write everything I want all the time and it was selfish of me to even think so.

As an aspiring writer myself, I know what it's like to put your whole heart and soul into writing sth and how scary it can be to post it online because it's like you're putting your sweat, tears and a piece of your personality for everyone to see.

Deleting my old account was cowardly because it's wrong not to admit one's mistake especially if others were hurt in the process.

I want you to log out smiling instead of being even more upset than you were before you logged in.

Thank you for all the hard work you put into everything you write and I'm really sorry for what I said.

It was wrong and I did act like a bully towards you the moment I sent that comment.

You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to. I just don't want you to keep hurting after what I said to you.

PS: You don't have to answer this ask. I just wanted a chance to apologise properly to you.

Well…hello.

I appreciate the apology but I don’t think I can forgive you. I really and truly don’t know. What you said was rude and it was uncalled for and it does not in the slightest excuse your behavior towards me. 

I do not celebrate Halloween but I do celebrate Day of the Dead…which you did in fact ruin for me this year. I was mourning the losses of people I cared about and to receive your comment on my fic that I worked so fucking HARD on despite losing so many people dear to me just…made everything worse. 

I don’t think you understand but this week and month has been rough. So freaking rough but despite that I have been TRYING to post fics continuously because I care about my followers and I know how much people enjoy my work. 

I am not an AI that just…writes to write. I write from my heart but most importantly it’s a HOBBY of mine; a hobby you made me question. 

And I’m still now trying to comprehend WHY you did all of this. You’re a writer. You know full well what’s it’s like so…why? What the actual hell did I do to you? 

We are strangers. I do not know you. And for you to treat me like what you did was just…sad.

PLUS you’ve SEEN my posts about me going to be inactive and having a hard day.

And personally? I don’t log into this site smiling anymore because of people like you. You are, like, the 5th person this MONTH that has done something like this and I’m tired. 

The amount of time and work that I put into my fics mean nothing and they never will because there is always just…someone always trying to put me down. 

People don’t care about me— it’s just the work I produce and even then it doesn’t satisfy people like yourself.

You are a bully and I don’t understand what I did to get a comment like that. No offense, but I think you should know better regarding the fact that you are like…3 years older than me. 

I’m tired and I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do anymore really

[theramblingsofadork]

Hey all! I have an official update!

After a lot of careful debating and discussing, I’ve decided that I’m not going to delete this account, and will continue to post my art and Starpoint Squad AU stuff here.

I’d like to thank those who reached out to me over the past few weeks with your friendship, help, and encouragement. 💖

While the story still needs a lot of work, I was given some good insight on things I’ve been struggling with, and just talking with them helped me figure a few key things out. As a result, I’ve managed to simplify the AU, fix my issue with how Starline’s gonna be written, and separate certain events into being exclusively canon vs AU.

So… yeah! I’m back! And I’ll be honest… I’ve really missed the fun antics of the Starpoint Squad and my wholesome Rivetline ship. ; ; my beloveds.

That being said.. posts won’t be as frequent as they used to be. I’ve been really struggling to draw and write due to a persisting health issue, so I don’t think I can keep up to date with my regular schedule of posting every week.

So for now, things will mostly be just sketches or small writing/interaction scenarios, posted whenever I feel up to it.

I’m also not going to try to adhere to posting the story step by step anymore, as it was a huge hinderance. So expect random timeline jumps and references to events that haven’t been explained yet.

I also think I’m going to start off by updating my old writing, character bios, and the overall timeline to better fit with how I’m going to write things, so don’t be surprised if old posts pop in and out of existence and things change. :)

⭐️ I also started a Twitter/X account! For the time being, I’ll only be posting my OCs there. This could change in the future, but if you’re interested in any of them (especially their canon lore), then that’s the place to see them.

And yeah! We’ll see how this second third attempt goes! With any luck, this will be the one that works. (I’m so stubborn, lol)

My one year anniversary since getting into IDW and starting this AU passed already, but I think a fresh start is a good way to celebrate it. ^^ 🤙

Till next time.

-Ramble

[chronic-invisibility]

why did i get an email from google telling me i’ve used 25% of my storage for my email account and that “in order to avoid disruption of service” i can buy more storage space, like i could see if you had 25% left available they’d have a reason to tell you that but i have 75% of my 15 gigabytes open so it really doesn’t matter. also i’m not paying for more storage space for my email, if it ever gets so full that i do actually have to worry about that i’ll just delete old stuff i don’t need anymore.