#I’m getting old I don’t like deleting accounts anymore

[saintlaurentbb1]

[powpowchaos]

Hello everyone! I’m pow and this is me thanking everyone for enjoying my work!!

I haven’t drawn selfishly in YEARS.

I can’t remember the last time I was this happy with my own art. It’s all selfish. All self-indulgent. I never expected so many people to show up and love my drawings. It genuinely is a shock to me, a bit overwhelming and ngl I have all my social media muted because I cannot handle knowing people have their eyes on me and my art. BUT despite me doing that for my own mental sanity. I very much value and appreciate the support that I get from people who are cheering for me to continue on being selfish and happy while drawing silly hedgehogs… so. Thank you again for supporting me 🖤

[nnight-dances]

REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

[immortalmrwavell]

Mr Wavell Is Back!!

Getting Terminated, My Brand New Account and How Things Will Be Moving Forwards. If you were a fan of my content please stick around and read what I’ve got to say ❤️

So as some of you may have already noticed, my original account MrWavellSwaps was terminated. This was very recent so a lot of you who followed me on there may not have even noticed yet but you can go see for yourselves. Obviously this was not my choice and was completely out of my control and when I found out I was frustrated to say the least. This account that I’d worked on for over 3 years had just been snatched away from me in a way that I personally feel was unfair. Initially I had been censored back in July this year for posting content that Tumblr believed to be against their guidelines. Or at least their automated bots thought so as what I posted that got me the censor was in a grey area at most. But despite that I tried to do right by correcting and even deleting any and all posts Tumblr had flagged even if I didn’t believe they were against guidelines just to play nice. Following which I appealed my account’s censorship only to be met with silence for months on end. That is until September 3rd where I chased up the appeal for the third time after receiving no response or updates. I was hoping to receive a turnover on the censorship but was expecting them to just say no and keep it censored. But they did the one thing I didn’t except

The email I got the next morning could be summed up like this. “You want a response? Okay. You’re terminated. Goodbye.” And I was. I tried going on Tumblr and my account was gone. Great.

I’ll be honest in the past I would’ve said that if something like this ever happened that I’d just give up with writing these stories and move on. But I don’t feel that way anymore. I think I’ve just grown so fond of this community and writing as a whole that I just don’t really want to leave yet. I’ve met so many friends through being a writer on here and even more than that I met my Boyfriend! I never could’ve expected that writing these silly gay TF stories would change my life in the ways that it has. And that said I think I’d be doing a disservice to just give up and throw it all away.

So here I am. Back again with a fresh new account.

Where am I gonna go from here you may ask. Well of course I have a large catalogue of stories already from the past couple of years and the majority of those stories are actually still floating around Tumblr thanks to all the reblogs. So it’s not like they’re gone forever which I’m glad about. However with my old account gone it feels like they’re all scattered apart. No longer together in one place. And most importantly they no longer feel like mine. Of course I still wrote them all but with this new account I no longer have any control or ownership over those posts and honestly that annoys me. Not to mention with them all coming from my terminated account, there will always be the chance that they’ll just end up getting completely wiped from the platform eventually, reblogs included.

With that said, I’ve made the decision to re-upload each and every single one of my stories to this brand new account. This way I’ll have complete ownership of these new posts. I’ll be able to edit and change them as wish and overall I believe it would just look a whole lot cleaner than if I were to just hunt down reblogs of my old stories to reblog again over here. However I genuinely see that as a positive as not only will it be better for me that way but it can also give all of you a chance to rediscover some of my older works that were perhaps buried under so many other before. And to spice things up I might even update a few of my old stories to add extra scenes and new images to go with them!

On that note I’m gonna be trying to adhere to Tumblr’s guidelines as best I can so I don’t give them any reason to pounce on me again. This means no risqué imagery from now on even if I personally believe it’s within guidelines. My writing style will remain the same however if a story is particularly steamy I may add a community label just to be safe. If you wanna learn more about community labels and how to make sure you’re still able to view labelled posts check out this post. All that said I do have a plan in mind to bring you all versions of my stories that have more explicit imagery but more on that in a moment.

For the next couple of weeks at least I plan on gradually re-uploading all of my content to this blog like I said. I may do one story a day or more than that depending on how I decide to do it. I’ll continue doing this until everything is back up under this new blog. Once all that is done I’m going to try and create a new master list where you can find links to all my posts just like before. And once that’s done I might give myself a breather for a few days and then I’ll see about posting some brand new content. Content of which I’ll be writing up while doing the re-uploads so that it’ll be ready to go once everything is caught back up. After that everything should hopefully be back to normal with my usual schedule of posting new stories and reblogging stories I enjoy!

Now. On top of this I also have plans to create a new blog or website completely outside of Tumblr. One that I can be allowed to do anything that please with and not have to tiptoe around any guidelines. This is where I’ll be uploading alternative versions of all my stories. Some of them may be exactly the same as they were on Tumblr while others may have secret images and gifs that otherwise wouldn’t have been allowed on Tumblr. I haven’t decided on all the specifics yet but once I figure it out I’ll let you all know.

And one last thing before I sign off. Recently I’ve been considering the possibility of turning this hobby of mine into a job. Now don’t worry I’d have absolutely no plans to paywall any of my content. I want everything to remain accessible for free. However I was considering opening up a place for people to leave donations and maybe even kick my Patreon off again. But most importantly I’d be considering opening up commissions. If I were to go down this route I’d likely be able to post much more consistent content for you all and make this my full time focus. It’s just an idea for now and I probably won’t set it into motion until early 2025 if I decide to go through with it but I wanted to at least share it with you all. I was actually just about to post about it on my original account until… you know hahahah.

Well I think I’ve said everything I wanted to say. Please can I ask that if you liked my stories that you please share this and my upcoming re-uploads around and let everyone know that this is my new blog. It would help a ton in getting me back on my feet on I’d really really appreciate it.

Can’t wait to get back on track and continue delivering stories to all you wonderful people out there. I love all of you and I’m so grateful to you all for following my journey so far and I hope you’ll all find me again so we can continue this together! ❤️

- Mr Wavell

[caelivir]

rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)

— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it

— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)

— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!

rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.

but he especially loves picnic dates

you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off

you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job

so he agreed

and he loved it

spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.

rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.

“rayne!” you call for his attention.

your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.

“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.

“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”

a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.

“thank you.” he whispers.

rayne’s protective of you

he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it

if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that

the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that

he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear

you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.

“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.

you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”

“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”

“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.

the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”

“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.

rage.

he’s pissed.

recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.

the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”

you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”

rayne lets you wear his robes

whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them

when you first did it, he was going to protest

but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide

you especially like wearing them when you nap

though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time

“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”

rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.

this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.

yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.

rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.

that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.

“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.

the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him

rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.

whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls

he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like

you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm

and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him

an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.

the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:

dear rayne,

how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.

classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.

speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…

gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.

rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.

[i-kyujin]

⁺　　✦　　.　　2,000 milestone?!

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

▩　 ⁺🍩　、　 appreciation letter!

˚ 　 ⊹ 　 ehm… HELLO BRO??!! there’s no way that i just reached 2K flwrs?!! WE/I JUST RESTARTED THIS TUMBLR ACCOUNT ON DEC 17, 2023??? AND WERE ALREADY AT 2K?? honestly, yes that’s crazy and were growing so fast 😭😭?? it’s been a honor to experience this, especially after our old i-kyujin account got deleted randomly and which i remembered that it had 1,930 flwrs and that couldn’t reach 2k and we had to restart and work hard again just to gain them again. if i-kyujin wasn’t deleted then we would probably have 3k right now or 2k (i’m dumb in math so ☹️😭…) me and lyn, especially me (hehe..) worked so hard just to get to this amount of wonderful followers and i’m actually so happy right now since i been waiting for this moment to happen for so long, or ever since our old account got deleted like for real.. but since it happened now i’m actually so happy and won’t forget this moment 😭‼️. and to those who knew us/me before i-kyujin got deleted are actually so nice and were probably mutals until now too or smth 😋😋!! but again, THANK YOU ALL SAUR MUCH FOR THIS WONDERFUL AND MEMORABLE MOMENT!! this will last in my heart and brain forever 😭😋☹️!! i don’t even think anyone will read this, but it’s okay 😭😋‼️ but to those who are my moots/mutals, i’m very thankful for you guys and if we are not close or we are. and especially to @yuzchaes , @aeraras , @y-unrei @wonjuii ++ whoever is in the “mentally unstable gang 🤭” gc 😭😭 + my bsf @vixpng (can’t ping anymore), u guys were also here in this journey so thank you so muchh!! ++ more moots! thank you all again and ilysm!! and to my best friend @vixypng (follow her) who also supported me!! thank you thank THANK YOUUU ALL 😭💗‼️ lets go for 3k followers and more!! we grew so fast im cryinggg, BYEBYE TYSMTYSM!!!! 😭💗

(i’m sorry, it’s so long 😭)

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

▩　 ⁺🍩　、　 fav blogs/moots!

　 (no order!)

@yuzchaes , @y-unrei , @i04rei , @aericita , @aeraras , @wonjuii , @jnssite , @y-vna , @tzulipss , @minguukie , @j-eongs , @7kyujin , @hyelita , @haesite , @p-oisn , @soulari , @fuckici , @baesol , @chaey2k , @gigittamic , @koosuvi , @jicito , @chuwerii , @vnlyt , @y-unjins , @y-urios , @y2jiz , @fairytopea , @kthemes , @n-americano , @egorls , @y-unjins , @iluvrei , @sseulr1n , @thsv , @eliatopia , @aegsll , @rkkuri , @chaeyve , @c-heriis , @wonjuii , @ningrlz , @yunjidoll , @f-loqweres @jaexiyu ++ many many more!!

(naur way, i’m sorry.. i pinged 50 people 😭😭‼️‼️ srry if i pinged u 2 times or smth 😭😣)

　 ˚ 　　⿻ 　　　.　　　 ⁺　　 ✧

[asharasasylum]

Hey guys, so I thought i wanted to go over why I deleted my account. (Previously squirmhoney)

But first I do want to apologise for anyone I might have worried for just leaving like that. I never wanted to stress anyone out or make them worry about me. Thank you to @arcielee as well for reaching out to me during this ❤️

Honestly it’s mainly health reasons. I was having a shit time and was hoping to write during August but ended up getting massive writers block. I wasn’t enjoying writing as much. I also have recently been recovering from being quite physically unwell and am still recovering from that so mentally I just wanted off this platform. That being said deleting my account probably wasn’t the best idea but honestly the amount I logged into this place was just getting to me.

Following this I’m going to take a different approach to my writing. I’m going to write when I can and post what I can and I won’t be taking requests anymore. (I might change this but for now please don’t send anything in my inbox)

I am sad because I didn’t back up some of my old content but I’m thinking I might rewrite a fic or two but that’s a personal choice and I won’t be saying which ones till they’re posted.

That all being said I hope you’re all well and enjoy my new content. I’ve missed you all and want to interact with you guys all again and get back into it ❤️❤️❤️

[morikosa]

that thing is such a horrible person, they just keep assaulting me because they misunderstood my sentence. (and when they realised, they blocked me. such low move. throwing tomatoes.) they only replied to the reblogs which portray them as this vulnerable victim figure and smart-ass, creative 2020 come-back. and when there are reblogs which potentially ruin that image (a valid argument or evidence about them being hostile towards others) they block the person but not without sending them a (questionable) message.

even the original post is not giving because nobody receives those types of message when they just do their stuff. also, they kept bringing up about this post is old and just let it go. like isn’t that your pinned post? you’re not even letting it go so who are you talking to right now? they want to be noticed and painted off as this « morally right » person so baaad.

bro, i’m gonna be so honest with you. that thing is just obsessed with the image it wants to present itself with, a victim and online jesus. it wants, CRAVES validation. it blames others for its own actions and when there is no one to blame, the thing creates problem so it can go back to its nature. i feel so bad for you brooo, you have to deal with that type.

well i mean, the things you write does not define who you are as a person, you’re not « porn addict » lol don’t let that bother. just keep doing your thing if you feel like it honestly. i’m not all up into your business, for me, if i don’t like it, i just scroll through; wish everyone knows that by doing such a simple act they can avoid this whole ruckus and one-sided beef?

like why are you bullying a person just because they are not up to your moral standard? that’s such bs. it’s not even that deep and personal and that thing just go on whole attack mode because of what???

this is too long bro i’m gonna end it here. have a nice one. i hope you never have to deal with those kind of people anymore

Thank you so much for writing; your words made me very happy. It always makes me glad to have someone who understands me ♥

And as for that person, yes. There are always people who support him in his comments because he deletes everyone who says that what he is doing is wrong, all the comments that don't satisfy him, and he insults and blocks them.

This girl's tactic is like this: She provokes dark content writers by insulting their articles, themselves, and their families. Then, the person they insulted gets angry and responds to them, and she takes those responses as screenshots and publishes them on her account like she did to me.

She insulted me so disgusted that he blocked me, so I opened a different account and vented my anger at him (but I didn't say anything as vile as what he said). And “OMG, they insulted me, they called me bisexual, I am the victim here, give me attention, look how bad the dark content writers are,”

And she makes the person they insulted and provoked look bad.

And then she gains attention

She shows herself as a victim just to get attention.

To understand that this girl is a bad person, it is enough to look at the comments she writes. It's normal to dislike an author, but harassing her is a whole different level.

In short, she's nothing but a harassing, attention-seeking freak who makes herself look like an angel. I feel nothing but pity for her fans who support her.

And by the way, it's still hilarious that he calls me a porn addict just because I write smut, LOL.

This is a screencast from my deleted account. As a message, he said I hope you die, you will be harassed (he must like it because you write such things). Etc. Then he blocked me.

Then that account was closed, etc… and so on.

I started everything from scratch by opening this new account and even in this account he found me lol, he blocked me with insults as usual.

This person is such a characterless person.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this message, dear. I'm glad you're here; I hope you have an excellent day ♥

I love y'all ♥

[livindeadgirlgrav]

Taken

Pairing: The Grabber x fem reader

Warning: Kidnapping, violence, possible dubcon, manipulation, bad language, toxic, NSFW, abuse, Stockholm syndrome!

A/n: Soo I started writing this story I couple years ago and never got to finish it since my old account got deleted soo Imma have my Frankenstein moment! Hope you like! Also I listen to music to help me write stories soo the song for this story particular is Put Me In a Movie-Lana Del Rey

Ps. I don’t condone anything this character does he’s a bad person like all the other slashers!

First + second person pov! Also alternating pov!

There I was running for my life in the middle of the street. No idea where I was or where I was going just knew I needed to leave. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He was a good man but not anymore. I still can’t wrap my head around what happened to him, all I know is he changed. Let me explain how I got in this situation, to make a long story short I’ll start at this morning.

I woke up to the sound of things being thrown about. “What are you doing?” I asked rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “You are a piece of shit you know that!? I should have left you back home! You are worthless!” Your scum of a man shouted at you. “What did I do!?” He turned around and slapped you hard. “You know exactly! Hiding my shit! You are such a child” You held your cheek as you grit your teeth. “You would probably like that huh? I see how you look at any woman!” You spat at him. He completely ignored you as he found his keys. “I’m going to work don’t be a cunt.” He said slamming the door behind him. You huffed looking around at the mess he created, you two had just moved here and got settled in. You couldn’t believe that you left everything for him! Your friends and family just to be abused by him.

Later on during that night you received a call from the douchebag. “Hey I’ll be home late I gotta work overtime.” This was your chance! You could leave him, stop this madness you’ve learned to deal with and take. Well not anymore once the phone hung up you were fast on your feet packing your stuff. It wasn’t a lot you guys moved a lot and when you move a lot you lose a lot too. Your whole life could fit in a backpack and it did. After packing you decided to take a quick shower and brush your teeth. It maybe took you an hour to do everything, you were trying to be quick and thank god you were for when you put your last shoe on, your prick of a boyfriend was walking in the door. “You liar” you thought as you ran to the bathroom locking the door behind you. “Y/n! What are you doing!? Y/n!” He yelled, as he banged on the door you quickly toss your bag out the bathroom window at this point he was practically kicking in the door. But once you crawled out the window and your feet hint the ground the bathroom door gave in. You grabbed your bag and ran hearing the abusive prick scream your name.

And that’s exactly how I got here, running for what felt like miles till I saw a mysterious man and a black van. “Please help me! Please” I said getting closer to the man noticing he was walking a rather large dog. “A man is trying to hurt me! He’ll kill me if he catches me!” I practically yelled. “Okay, okay I’ll help you.. here jump in here.” The man said opening the back of his van. I knew this was sketchy but anything was better then that ex of mine. After a couple minutes I heard him yell. “Hey excuse have you seen a girl about yay high, h/c hair, e/c eyes?” He sounded out of breath as he should be for chasing me. “No I haven’t seen any girl I’ve been walking Samson here.” The man said watching the other breathless man. Hearing his footsteps fade the van door opened. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!” The man smiled. “You wanna see a magic trick?” You looked at the man finally noticing he had a top hat and dark shades on which was weird to you since it was night time. Before words left your mouth the man grabbed you and sprayed this sticky liquid in your mouth. You coughed for the taste was terrible and sung the back of your throat. Before the man pushed you back and slammed the door you managed to hit and scratch him . “H-hey! W-what did you give m-me?” You coughed out hearing a hush and the van engine turning on. Samson, the dog bark making your ears ring roughly. You fought as hard as you could but you soon blacked out.

“My neck, my fucking neck. I should snap yours for what you did to my neck.” The man growled before tossing you onto a mattress on the floor. Sitting up I looked at him the best I could, vision still blurry from whatever he gave me. Looking at my surroundings to see what I assumed was a dirty basement. “Jesus it’s covered in blood.” You looked at the man as he crouched beside you giving you a good view of his devilish mask. “It’s like I killed someone. You see that?” He huffed showing me his scratched neck then waving his fingers in my face. “Not like you can see shit.” Starring at the man you grew fearful. “I know that you’re scared but I’m not going to hurt you anymore. What I said about snapping your neck..I was angry is all you did a number in my neck.” He chuckled. “I’m not gonna hold it against you” he said in a more light tone scooting closer to you. “I guess now we’re even.” He said was he played with your hair. “You don’t have to be scared, because nothing bad is going to happen here and on that I give my word Johnny.” The man put up two fingers signaling he swore. “You like soda? Hm? I’ll tell you what imma go get you a soda and then- is that the phone? Did you hear a phone ring?” He got a bit closer to your face so close you could feel his breath if it wasn't for his emotionless mask. “I’m going to get see who it is then I’ll get you a soda and then I’ll come back and explain everything hm?” He stood up and walked to the door turning to take one last look before shutting and locking the door. Gripping the mattress, I looked around seeing this dirty basement was pretty nice. Seeing beside me a black phone, I debated on picking it up but who would I call? I asked myself. Not knowing what was in my system I thought it best to try to sleep it off so I did.

When I woke up the lights were off and the door was still shut. Looking around I was able to get a better view of my surroundings. I grasp the black phone, taking it off the hook and holding it to my ear just to easy my curiosity. "It doesn't work, not since I was a kid. Hang it up." You jumped a little at the sudden noise. Hanging up the phone you turned around to see your kidnapper. The man flipped the lights on. " I know you're scared and want to go home." You stared at the man only seeing his figure due to him not being in the line of light. "I'll take you home soon. Its just..ugh everything is fucked up. I got to be upstairs for a while somethings come up." You nodded a little. "What?" you said softly. "Nevermind what." he said in a tone. "Is it someone up there?" Walking into light you saw the mans mask, it was different he had a big creepy smile and he had a small band-aid like bandage on his neck. For some weird reason you found this mask more comforting then the emotionless one. The man growled. "No one can hear anything if the door's shut I sound proofed it myself, so if you wish to scream or yell do as much as you like, you won't bother anyone." You watched the man grab the door and began to shut it. "I-i don't have a home." The man looked at you and walked back into the room so you could see his face. " I will never make you do anything you won't..like." You backed away a bit, deciding to sit down on the mattress. You were uncomfortable to say the less but for some reason you weren't scared. The man noted your sudden change and shut the door behind him deciding it was best to leave then to keeping the conversation going with you. Once the man left you looked around the room, you found a toilet backed away in a little hall way, old rolls of carpet, and a crack in the cement. Not knowing what to do with your recent discoveries you decided it was just best to try to sleep again. It was annoying but what else did you have to do?

You swore it had been forever since your captor came back down to see you. You sat on the bed with your knees to your chest starring at the door. This isolation was killing you. You stared picking the skin around your fingernails causing them to bleed every now and again. You were anxious, did he forget about you? Were you going to starve to death in this dirty basement? Did someone catch him? Did he not what you anymore? What a minute you thought to yourself did you want him to want you? Snapping out of your thoughts as you heard the door unlock and be pushed open. You sat up letting your knees go. The man walked in with a tray of food. "W-what did you put in that?" You asked as you watched the man walk towards you. "Salt and pepper." He chuckled placing the tray at the end of the mattress he sighed. "Eat it don't eat it. You're already down here, why would I need to drug you?" You were beyond starving, scooting to the end of the mattress you pulled the tray back to the spot you were just in. "Thank you." The Grabber leaned his head to the side watching you through the holes in his mask. As you began to eat the man turned to leave. You nearly choked on eggs trying to speak fast enough to catch him. "Hey! ...Stay." The man looked at you over his shoulder seeing you sitting on your knees. "Please...I don't want to be alone." Watching the man he nodded and walked towards you. You moved to the edge of a corner on the mattress so he could sit on the end, which he did. You noted that the man watched you as you ate and drunk the glass soda he put on the tray.

Once you finished you stared at the man. "What's your name?" "What's yours?" He asked uncomfortable answering the question. "Y/n" You said softly. "That's a beautiful name." You smiled a fair blush forming on your cheeks. You knew none of this was right, especially how you were feeling. Why were you okay with this? You kept asking yourself. "Why did you take me?" Asking softly the man growled a little not liking the question. "I couldn't leave you." He answered, knowing you weren't going to get any more detail you nodded. "Are you the man on the TV? Who took those boys?" You watched his face, his eyes looking for some humanly reaction, but nothing. "That wasn't me, that was someone else.." Not believing him fully you decided to not try to pull more info. "Who was that guy?" Finally asking you a question. "My ex boyfriend bf/n." "Why were you running from him?" You looked down not wanting to talk about it. "He was abusing me. Physically" The man studied your face, scooting closer to you he pushed your hair behind your ear. Looking at his eyes then the smiling mouth of his mask, without thought you reached to touch the mask but as your finger tips grazed the surface the man grabbed your hand tightly moving it away from him. You jumped a little at the sudden movement making the man huff. Letting you go the man stood and walked to the door taking the tray with him. "Wait! I'm sorry I won't do it again." You begged but the nameless man pulled the door to leaving it unlocked. Running to the door you went to open it but you hesitated, leaving the door alone you walked back to the mattress.

After that day you would only see him when he brought you food. You hated yourself for ever trying to touch his mask. He didn't talk to you and he always wore his emotionless mask. You grew to seek his attention and presence. Not knowing if it was the isolation or just the simple fact you were weirdly attracted to him. Not having no sense of time you woke up on what felt like the 50th day, laying curled in a ball watching the phone swing. "Stop it.." "Stop what?" Jumping up you looked at the man seeing he only had his mouth piece of his mask on. "What are you doing?" You said shaky, looking down at yourself just to see if anything was out of place. "I didn't touch you." You looked up at him without lifting your head. "Don't look at me like that." He said with a voice crack at the end. "I just wanted to look at you.." Feeling your breath hence, you pulled your knees to your chest. The man stood from the spot he was just crouching at and walked to you. He sat in front of you starring at you never breaking eye contact. "Your eyes are blue.." He nodded. "My name is Albert. But don't call me that." You smiled softly liking that he was opening up to you, it made you comfortable but it also made these stupid butterflies fly around your semi empty stomach. "Can I call you Al?" You knew who he was, he was The Grabber, the man all over news who took those boys, but you questioned your reality wanting to believe it wasn't him like he said. You did believe it but not in your heart. He nodded as he raised his hand to your face softly brushing his finger against your cheek, you tensed at the contact but relaxed as he continued. Slowly he moved his hand to your chin rubbing it with his thumb and index finger before he rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb. Heart beating fast and loud like a drum you watched him his eyes going back and forth from your lips to your eyes.

"Al."you said breathlessly. Hushing you the man lend in and pressed the lips of his mask onto yours. So many thoughts ran through your head. Should you push him away? Kiss the cold fake lips? Or just sit there? Without thought you kissed the lips of the mask back then pulled away as he did. Albert stared at you his eyebrows raised giving him a sad look. "Al?" He stood up without a word and walked out locking the door behind him, leaving you there alone and confused.

Weeeeelllllll this is part 1 of the story! I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry it's so long but man when I get a story I just can't stop lol anywho part 2 should be up later!

[filmbyjy]

BE IN LOVE

PAIRING: park jongseong x fem!reader

SUMMARY: it was quite cheesy that you fell in love with your best friend’s brother. what could you do to prevent it? jay was someone who you knew was out of reach but you couldn’t help but crush on.

WARNINGS: cursing. maybe slight angst (?). other than that, there isn’t much.

WORD COUNT: 3.6K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

a/n: this is a repost of a previous work I did that I loved! well repost from my old account that got deleted but yeah! I have also re-edited it so it’s better to read. I found the previous one a little cringy but idk if its cringy🙃 hope you enjoy it though!

A typical morning spent in your bed. perhaps, a little breakfast in bed because your parents were worried about your bruised eyes. Now, you must be wondering how you obtained this bruised eye?

[last week] It was any normal day at school and any normal day included physical education, or PE for short form. You didn’t particularly enjoy sports, you would rather be cooped up in your room for hours just watching some Netflix or Disney+, but of course, you couldn’t just escape from it since it was a required subject in high school.

“One point for us!” jake yells. Meet jake, the school’s soccer captain and one of the school’s heartthrobs. Right next to him was sunghoon and jay. Sunghoon was the second heartthrob of your school and he played basketball and badminton (on occasions). Finally there was jay, the third heartthrob and also a family friend.

Both of your families were close and you two have played around as kids before. Well i say kids but the only thing both of your parents did was let you play in the crib together and that’s about it. Growing up, the both of you never got to really talk to each other. Both were too shy to do so and plus...you liked to play alone. guess that’s where wanting to stay-in started from. Since then a natural distance came between both you and jay.

“Oh come on, are you really cheating jake?” Mia, your best friend, says.

“And what are you gonna do about it park mia?” jake yells. your dear best friend was also jay’s twin sister. the girl huffs.

“yah, park jongseong! would you care to smack the back of jake’s head?” and so jay does, he smacks the slightly younger boy. jake groans. Whatever Mia wanted, jay would comply because well...he wanted to be the great brother. Mia slings her arm around you.

“Don’t worry (name), jake isn’t going to bother us anymore.” she proudly says.

“WATCH OUT!” you turned around and a dodgeball comes flying onto your face. Your glasses flew across the room and you fell the ground, blacked out. Well at least Mia was right, jake didn’t bother you. rather a ball flew across and hit you.

[current time] Wasn’t a great thing honestly. Your mom popped her head at the door to check up on you. she brings in a plate of fruits for you.

“Here, eat this (name).” you sighed.

“Mom, it’s just a black eye. You’re acting as if i got hit by a car.”

“But sweetie, you’re injured.” she says.

“Mom, i’m fine.”

“Your glasses are broken too, we should get you a new pair.” she points over at your glasses that had shattered on impact.

“can i buy some contact lenses?”

2 years passed by, it was finally the last year of high school. Your class gathered in the classroom to surprise your form teacher, a small gesture to say ‘hey you survived teaching us for 4-5 years of your life. Hope you live well and we will see each other when we do’.

You were in your graduation gown, putting up the balloons. You felt the table shake but you knew you were great at balancing, well you thought before you fell into jay’s arms. Your eyes widened. You quickly got off jay and apologised. Mia smirks, she pulls you away from her twin brother.

“I saw what happened~so you and jay huh.”

you shoved her shoulder, “i don’t like your brother like that. besides, we are strictly just family friends.”

“oh shush, did you know our parents have this bet that you and jay would start dating?” she excitedly says.

“Whatever Mia. I have to go and grab the cake from the front gate, text me when Mr.Smith arrives alright?” Mia nods. While you went out though, Mia walks over to jay.

“Go with (name) now.”

“But-”

“Go and get the girl you’ve been crushing on since we were kids.”

“I don’t have a crush on her.” mia rolls her eyes.

“yeah sure. It’s like saying i don’t have a crush on jake.” mia deadpans.

“You have a crush on jake?” jay tilts his head.

“huh? what? I didn’t hear you.” jay rolls his eyes.

“I will tell mom on you.”

“We aren’t five anymore jay. Just go with (name) and be confident. I’m sure she likes you too!”

“Fine.” jay goes over to where you were. You thanked the person who delivered the cake and went back. Jay walks over to you.

“why are you here?” you say. Jay shrugs and then silence follows after. both you and jay went back to the classroom. where they graduation party really started.

That was the last time you saw the boy before college happened. It had been 3 years since you’ve last seen jay or even Mia. She went to a different department and so you couldn’t always meet up with her since she was extremely busy. It was just about towards the ending of exam season and so plenty of people started planning for parties.

You spot a familiar figure waving for you and so you walked over.

“It’s been too long (name)!” Mia gives you a tight squeeze.

“You’ve changed.” you say. your best friend looked so much more mature. she had made a decision to study business and so she dressed way more sophisticated.

“And so has jay.” she winks. You rolled your eyes.

“Are you seriously still trying to get me and jay together?”

“Has it worked?”

“No, we haven’t seen each other since the last party we held for our high school teacher.”

“What? But jay has to be in your class. You’re both in fashion right?”

“Fashion? I took arts, mia. I told you i had a passion for arts.” she facepalms and groans.

“Is that why jay cut me off. Urgh i’m an idiot.”

you tilt your head, “You haven’t talked to jay in 2 years?”

“Yeah, besides he has his friend group. Oh did you hear? They started a band together.”

“You mean those 3 heartthrobs of Decelis High?”

“Yeah, along with 3 freshmans and a senior.”

“That’s great. What about you and jake?” Mia shows you her ring. Your eyes widened, “He proposed in these 2-3 years we haven’t talked? Why didn’t you even tell me when you two started dating.”

“No, silly. It’s a promise ring. We’ve been dating for 2 years now. Best 2 years ever by the way.”

“Kinda hurt you didn’t tell your best friend about this.” you huffed and folded your arms.

“I’m sorry!” she goes to hug you.

“You had time with your boyfriend but not me. It hurt when you just cut all contacts with me you know.” you pout.

“Sorry (name).” she whines. You giggled. “I’ll buy you tteokbokki. how about that?”

“With cheese?” you say.

“With cheese.”

The both of you made it to a familiar tteokbokki stand, one that you went to everyday after school. You noticed a pretty familiar face. Mia tilts her head and looks over to where you were staring.

“He said he’d be having band practice.” Mia stares at jake. She pulls you over to where the 6 boys were. Then lets go of you before grabbing jake by the ear. “sim jaeyun, didn’t you say you were having band practice?” mia glares at jake.

“ah ah, i’m sorry, babe forgive me. sunghoon suggested to eat at our usual tteokbokki place so we decided to come here but cross my heart, we practiced before coming here.” jake says.

“(name)?” sunghoon says.

“Sunghoon.”

“hyung, who is she?”

“Oh umm, that is (name). (name), this is sunoo, jungwon, ni-ki and heeseung. Our bandmates.”

“Hi.” you waved.

“Where is jay by the way?” Mia asks.

“Bathroom.” Mia nods.

“Well, we shouldn’t disturb all of you. Me and Mia will just go shopping.” you grabbed her arm and quickly left the tteokbokki place. It fell silent between you and her as you walked around the shops.

“Why did you leave? You could’ve seen jay.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve caught up with each other. Come on, let’s go shopping.” you say. Mia could sense you didn’t want to talk about jay so she nods.

It was around 7.30pm when you finished walking around with mia. you decided to get back to your dorm, however as you were arriving, you saw someone familiar. he was walking a girl home. it was jay. He shyly converses with the girl and bid her goodbye. You mustered up the courage and quickly walked past them. The girl walks in first and you silently prayed that jay wouldn’t notice it was you.

“(name).” well...your hope was now crushed. You slowly turned to face jay.

“Jay. a little surprised to see you here.” you gave him the most sincere fake smile you could, “Why are you here?”

“Oh..just sending a close friend of mine to the dorms since it was quite late.”

“Oh. that’s nice of you. She must be a really great friend.” jay blushes slightly.

“a-ah no. We just talk a little.” it hurts to see jay so flustered by a girl. the younger you would’ve cried. You giggled.

“Someone has a crush on her. Well i’ll get going, see you.” you quickly left before jay could say anything. You were heartbroken. You went back to your dorm. Seems like your roommate just arrived too.

“where did you go?” you asked her. She was in a daze, clearly happy something happened to her.

“The fashion heartthrob walked me home today.” she says. You froze, was that girl your roommate?

“Which heartthrob? Our school has a bunch.” you nonchalantly say as you placed your shoes onto the shelves. it was true, your department and practically the whole school had a bunch of heartthrobs.

“jay. God, he’s so good looking. You think he likes me? He was so flustered while talking to me.” she says. You remembered asking him just now. He did look flustered and kinda happy when talking to her.

“Yeah maybe.” your roommate jumps in happiness.

“eekkk, i’m so happy!! I should get some beauty rest to see him tomorrow!”

“Yeah you should.” you say. Your roommate runs to her room and shuts the door. Your phone vibrates. A text from Mia, she asked if you wanted to call so you replied to her with a simple okay. you picked up the call.

“Hey, got to your dorms safely?” mia asks. you shut your bedroom door and placed your purse down on the table.

“Yeah.”

“Great but why do you sound so defeated?”

you sighed, “Do you think jay still likes me?”

“Of course. Even if it has been years. Jay will still look for you. Why?” you fiddled with your little songwriting book you’ve kept since you were 15. the pages were almost filled with inspirations and lyrics.

“i saw him walking a girl home and that girl is my roommate.”

“what? Oh he will get it.” mia says. you could imagine her holding up her fist.

“No, don’t. He will know i told you because i was the only one that knows about it.” you cracked open the book and began writing some lyrics for fun.

“Are you doubting yourself?” mia asks. you paused. did you doubt yourself? absolutely. jay was someone who was out of reach.

“I mean...he can date whoever he wants. I have no control over him. it’s not like i’m his girlfriend.” you quickly continue to scribble.

“(name), listen to me.”

“Go ahead.”

“We will dress up and meet the band tomorrow.” you dropped the pen.

“What?”

“We have to and besides jay blocked me from everything. i just wanna have a word with him.”

“Mia-”

“Whoops sorry, i have to go. Jake is calling me.” mia ends the call. You breathed in. you had to prepare to meet him again tomorrow.

The next day, mia tells you to get ready by 1pm and so you do. You put on a simple short black dress and threw over a leather jacket. to finalise the look, you wore a necklace. maybe this was a little extra but hey who said you couldn’t dress up.

“My god, what special occasion are you going to?” mia says upon seeing you walk out of the door. you rolled your eyes.

“is it wrong to dress up?” you say. Mia smiles.

“oh no, it isn’t wrong but jay would sooo drool over this. maybe if jay didn’t like you, you could go for someone else. like me perhaps.” mia winks. you laughed and smacked her arm.

both you and mia arrived at where the band frequently practices. The school provided a studio for them and they were elated. Their band played at school related shows and once at a prom. They were pretty known in the school. which surprised you since you’ve never seen them before. i mean, you never really go to school events anyways.

“baby!” jake runs up to mia. They hugged, you smiled at them. they were adorable. way different to how they were back then but you knew along the way that mia just liked jake.

“Okay the younger boys and heeseung have met (name) but yeah. She’s here today.” mia says. you waved.

“Your aura seems different today. Do you have a date later on or something?” sunghoon says as he nudges you. You giggled.

“very funny hoon, unfortunately, i am not going out for one.”

“maybe i could take you out to one later on then.” he smirks. you playfully rolled your eyes at sunghoon’s words.

“shut up.”

“then who did you dress up for noona?” sunoo says.

“yeah, for who?” sunghoon smirks, “is it possibly me?”

“In your dreams. I dressed up for myself.” your eyes met with jay’s, he was definitely checking you out and so you shyly looked away.

“hey (name), i just remembered when you showed me a music piece that you wrote in high school.” jake says. You blushed.

“jake, what do you mean? i never showed you anything.” the boys were interested.

“You’re lying. Mia knows about it too.” she nods agreeing with her boyfriend.

“Don’t tell me you still have it.” you say. jake smirks. He pulls out a book, it was your old lyric book that you had for fun since you had a lot of fun writing it. you swore you lost it so why does jake have it?

“Shall we try singing it, miss singer?” jake says.

“what? I can’t sing, jake.” he turns over to mia.

“Don’t hide that beautiful voice of yours, (name).” she comes up to you and whispers, “besides, don’t you want to impress jay so he wouldn’t be swayed by your roommate?” you breathed in. you really haven’t sang in a while and you didn’t want to do it. however, with everyone’s eyes on you…you couldn’t let them down.

“Fine.” you say. jake claps his hands. He grabs his guitar and starts the chords for the chorus since you only wrote for the chorus and then gave up. it was honestly impressive that you came up with guitar chords to go with the chorus you wrote.

You took a deep breath. you were a little nervous but you closed your eyes and pretended no one was there. it was as if you were singing in your bedroom alone.

Be in love, we know

Heart to heart, you feel it too, right?

Hey love, hey love, please wait for a while

We can be together

Say bye-bye to boring days

Feel our energy

Hey love, hey love, baby just stay in love, love

You stopped right there and when you opened your eyes, you instantly met with jay staring at you. You shyly looked away.

“Wahhh noona, that was great. You should’ve join music production or something.” sunoo says.

“I’m not that great. I just made these lyrics up because i had a crus-” you covered your mouth. great you just revealed the one thing you didn’t want the boys to know about.

“You had a crush? Why didn’t we know about this?” sunghoon says. You looked down at your hands.

“Because it’s not important. It’s just a crush. It wasn’t like i dated him or something.”

“Exactly but crushes are equally important as a boyfriend. So miss (name), are you going to spill the tea or not?” sunghoon says. You looked over at jay, he seemed like he wasn’t upset or anything.

“i-i’m not telling!” you say.

“then if she won’t say it...I WILL! IT’S-” you covered jake’s mouth.

“hehe, well i guess it’s a mystery. Well i have to go now, bye!” you grabbed your bag and left. Mia gives jake one look before running off to find you. Jake grabs his phone when he notices it’s ringing, he answers it and places it in speaker mode.

“(name)! Where are you going?”

“hiding in my room! I can’t believe i blurted that out loud in front of jay!”

“Oh come on, (name). It’s not bad.” you stopped and looked at mia.

“Not bad? that song was literally crafted for him because my teen heart loved him so much. If he found out then i’m fucked. I was stupid. he already has a crush on someone else now. what’s the use?” you confessed. Jake looks up at jay, a blush dusting the older boy’s cheeks.

Mia shows her phone and places it in speaker mode.

“Jay, you heard that? Also unblock me, you idiot.” mia says.

“u-umm can you pass the phone to (name).” jay says. your eyes widened. oh hell nah, he heard everything you just said. mia and her devious plans.

“Mia…” you glared at her.

“Talk to him.” she says handing you her phone after turning off the speaker mode. Jay found a place to quietly talk to you, preferably away from the other boys.

“Hey. jay says.

“Hi.”

“Let’s just get to the point. That song was for me?”

“Yes.” your heart was beating 10 times faster.

“So you liked me.”

“Would it be bad if i still like you up till now and i’ve been waiting for you?” you say.

“Meet me outside your dorm at 6pm.” jay says.

“Uh, sure.”

“I’ll tell mia to send my phone number after i unblock her.” you snort.

“Can’t believe you blocked her because she thought i took fashion.”

“Trust me, i was really mad when i couldn’t find you anywhere in the fashion department.”

“Well see you later.” you say.

“See you.” the call ends. You hand mia her phone back.

“Oh he just unblocked me and he asked me to send you his number...wait what happened during the call.”

“Not telling you.” you stick your tongue out.

Later at 6pm, you came downstairs in a hoodie and sweatpants because honestly, it was too comfy. Jay was waiting for you and you sneaked up on him and scared him. He flinches.

“Oh my god, it was just you.” you smiled.

“So why did you want to meet me here?” you asked.

“Well, i wanted to invite you to a party.”

“A party? Couldn’t you have texted me.”

“Umm...i’m inviting you as my date.” your eyes widened, “you don’t have to accept it. umm, if you don’t want to come to the party-”

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ll come.” you flashed him a smile. He shyly smiles. Before you left to get back to your dorm, you gave jay a peck on the cheek and then ran off quickly. Jay holds the side where you kissed him at, a wide grin forming. Jay texts you the details of the party.

Friday comes in, the day of the party. Jay comes to pick you up. You opened the door and there stood jay. He snuck up to the dorm apartment place just to meet you at the door. You were wearing a similar black dress that hugged your body even more perfectly than the previous one. Jay smiles.

“You look great.”

“Thank you, you too.” jay drives you over to the party. It was a huge party, almost every popular clique was here and they all were in their own fun world. Dancing, drinking alcohol and probably making out. Jay drags you to where his friends were.

“Oh hey, you two came together.” sunghoon says. Mia eyes you up and down.

“Isn’t that the dress i bought for you only specifically when you and jay are dati-WAIT (name)....” you shyly look over to jay and he wraps his arms around your waist protectively.

“Me and (name) are dating.” mia gasps.

“You didn’t ask me.” you whisper to jay.

“Well both you and i know, we have mutual feelings for each other so you’re my girlfriend now.” you hide your face at the crook of jay’s neck. he runs his hands down your back to pat you.

“AYYYYY (name), can’t believe you and jay are finally together.” jake says. Jay could hear you whine softly. He chuckles.

“Alright, she’s shy. Let’s not tease her.” jay says.

“Don’t makeout in front of us alright.” mia says.

“You and jake should take your own advice.” heeseung says. Jake blushes.

[epilogue]

It was still summer holiday so both you and jay went back home to visit your parents and well…

“I always knew you two would get together. A match made in heaven.” your mom says.

“mom~” you whined.

“jongseong-ah, where is your sister?”

“At jake’s house.”

“Oh my, are they dating? I knew something would spark between them, they used to hate each other and now look at them. Mia didn’t even tell me about both of them.” Jay’s mom says. Your mom settles the both of you down on the couch.

“so…(name), jay. When are the both of you planning to get married?” your mom asks.

“MOM!” jay on the other hand was blushing hard.

[takemeorleaveme]

Honestly I’m tired of people talking about buddie shippers not getting the joke and that buck was obviously flirting atp I don’t fucking care about that dumbass joke or that whack ass 50 sec awkward ass date anymore I don’t like them I will never like them there is never gonna be a chance for me to ever like Tommy ever again even if by some miracle that guy became the most talented actor on earth and the writing for it got better I will never like them and atp it also has nothing to do with buddie I will never like Tommy I will never like buckTommy because that man that plays him is actual garbage he’s not a good person at all and everytime i see posts from BT fans or even some buddie fans saying we are doing to much not liking him for no reason I don’t give a flying fuck anymore I’m gonna continue to tell them what a piece of garbage he is. You wanna support that guess what you’re trash too IDC it’s not even 10 year old post anymore because he posted a fucking ableist meme about spitting on blind kids while working on show with Gavin… the man is a disgusting human being. He’s a creep as well cause he literally has posts that prove that he is that creepy guy who take pictures of women’s asses in the gym not to mention he posted an ableist joke meme to combat the call out for his racist joke memes and then proceeded to delete said racist memes but kept all the other weird memes up i don’t give a fuck if it was 10 years ago you know how old he was 10 years ago 30 he was 30 and instead of taking accountability and apologizing like a MAN he started blocking people. & not to mention the stupid ass cameos that are probably making his ego so big and why he looks uninterested in any bts video with the cast of 911 cause he has a cult following of weird fucks who are spending hundreds of dollars to hear him talk about what he thinks BT is and will be and they take that and run with it even though in the actual show BT are severely underdeveloped and poorly written and have no chemistry at all because Lou can’t act to save his own life that’s why he has very little lines to say and has weird ass one liners. That guy is a creepy weird fucking racist who supports trump the opposite of Oliver Stark btw and if you choose to if you ignore it and make up excuses for that man I’m gonna assume you are just as bad as him. & I don’t want to hear no bullshit about why did they have to go and dig stuff up just because they want buddie to happen and are jealous why the fuck does he have shit to dig up in the first place as an “actor” he kept that weird shit up also the fact that people are mad that it was dug up and not mad at him for being a shitty human speaks volumes ya’ll ride him so hard and for what he don’t care about you he wants your money he probably don’t even care about the show or the ship ya’ll are just obviously very easy to manipulate and use and he sees that and he’s cashing in. It’s embarrassing!

[roseanne-2003]

Ok I’m not sure what’s so hard to grasp about boundaries. Have y’all never had boundaries before? Have you ever had someone place boundaries for you? Now please do not take this post as me being disrespectful or mean. If anything, this is me being fed up with constantly repeating myself and y’all acting stupid as fuck. So if this is not apply to you, don’t worry about it.

Sexual talk: I’ve explained this multiple times two people in a post and in DM’s. It’s really not hard to understand that I am not turned on by talking sexual to a stranger. If you were someone that I’ve been talking to for a couple months and we actually have a friendship going and I actually know you, OK it’s fine! I am totally OK with talking sexual with you because I actually have something about you that I like based off of getting to know you. If you’re just a strange creepy 50-year-old man who comes in here and start sending me dick pics and wants to talk about raping me, no no I’m not gonna be turned on and if anything I’m gonna block you and probably take your rape comments, a threat.

THE COMMENTS: another topic that I have explained in post and in private messages with people who don’t seem to understand. The comments I am getting in my messages are not the usual “i wanna sniff your farts” or “im so turned on by your farts.” Those comments I can let go and probably ignore. But the comments I’ve been getting our shit like “i wanna rape you when you’re farting uncontrollably and can’t fight back.” Or the classic unsolicited dick picture that they think will turn me on. No that shit does not turn me on. Threatening to rape me is not cute and it’s not attractive. If I had the mental and emotional energy, I’d take your ass to court. That’s how serious I am about this shit. So to prevent any unexpected court dates or restraining orders, keep that shit to yourself. I don’t give a fuck if you think that shit, keep it to yourself. I don’t wanna hear about how you want to commit a crime on me. Farts can’t be that arousing that you have to rape someone. If anything, I’m mostly doing this shit for fun and for money. So half of the shit y’all say don’t turn me on.

And lastly, yes, dumbasses, I get it. Farts are supposed to be sexual. You can still jerk off or flick the bean or have sex to the sound of my farts without me knowing. I don’t need to know that, I don’t care to know that. Cause like I said half of the shit y’all say don’t turn me on and I’m here for fun and money. Most of the things I’ll let slide and just laugh it off or pretend like I like it, but trust me I fucking don’t. Y’all have no one to blame but yourselves for that. Initially, I did come here with the intent to have a good talk and laugh and maybe meet a couple of friends. But the shit that I’ve been dealing with on here has completely ruined that experience for me and all I’ve met was some disgusting and pushy and disrespectful people in this community. I’m sure y’all have noticed That I have not been posting as often. I’m genuinely thinking of just deleting this account. Genuinely I’m thinking of knocking this whole thing and blocking everyone I met on here.

Y’all better straighten your shit up. For those that have not been an issue for me and that have not been trying to find a way to weave through my boundaries, thank you. I’m sorry that y’all have to suffer the consequences of those who are just complete assholes and ruined the experience for this community. And for those that are assholes, go fuck yourself! Stop asking questions about my boundaries because it’s really not that fucking hard to understand. If you’re that naïve and stupid, then that’s on you. I will leave you high and dry or straight up embarrass you because I don’t give a fuck about peoples feelings anymore. Y’all didn’t care about mine so I’m not gonna care about y’all. I’m gonna give y’all one week to straighten the shit up and if not, you can say goodbye to my fucking account. Have the fucking day you deserve and don’t have a happy Thanksgiving.

PS. This does not apply to some of the close friends I have met. Y’all are amazing and have been so sweet and so kind and have definitely been very considerate. I have no issue talking sexually with y’all because I actually know y’all and know your personality and have something to like about you. So my close friends that I met and that I talk on Snapchat with. I love you and you’re amazing!💕💕

Edit: stop messaging me and asking me if this applies to you. The people that I am talking about in this post, you know if it’s you or not. So acting dumb in my messages isn’t gonna do anything. Next time y’all come with some dumb ass shit, I will take screenshots and embarrass y’all.

Edit 2: what makes y’all think I care? I have stopped caring months ago. That’s why I’ve been inactive or not responding to messages unless it’s about purchasing a compilation. If you think this post is so mean and so hurtful, then maybe this applies to you. Maybe, just maybe, you are the person I am talking about or you are the people that I am talking about because it is more than one person. So instead of acting like the victim, take a step back and think about how you can be a better person.

[stursweet]

hi friends :) i’ve been putting this off HARD due to obvious circumstances in the fandom recently and strong opinions that have been circulating.

unfortunately it’s not possible for me to do so anymore that my inbox is filled with 160+ requests with sexual content. from my standpoint; this situation is incredibly bizarre and concerning. the infantilization of three 20 year old men is weird as fuck standing by itself, let alone coming from 14, 15, 16 year old girls. i myself as an adult can promise you that they are more disturbed by adolescents feeling the need to mother them rather than any content that could be written about them. i promise! with my most gentle and sincere intentions, i’d like those reading this to please stop and think.. and think deep. these are not minors. these are not people that are actively speaking out against “being sexualized”, - in fact, they made multiple videos of them reading content of themselves willingly and matt even made multiple joking requests to ‘make them weirder’.. if they had a genuine grievance i promise you that they would not willingly, and multiple times at that, read these types of things and record it and put it out. obviously in the fan fiction videos they are uncomfortable- and it would be bizarre if they weren’t! considering their fanbase is primarily minors! it would be concerning if they were eating it up! obviously they’re not going to be swaying their feet and giggling? please, let’s get a grip. the violent defense against writing for them (which by the way, may i add, if you do not want to read it / are made uncomfortable by the content, you can SCROLL! just swipe your finger up across the screen! hope that helps!) is beyond disturbing. and, they find it comical as well; nick just commented on a tiktok yesterday regarding sexual audios saying “they’re gonna quit” laughing his ass off at how insane some of u are.. they do not care. i’m sorry! they don’t. if they knew that peoples addresses were being leaked and people were being threatened with death over the head of FANFICTION about them they would be absolutely appalled: leaps and bounds more appalled than they would be if they were to read any pieces (which they aren’t, might i add: if you think chris and matt sturniolo have tumblr / google ao3 please get on meds). these are adults. GROWN ADULTS. i promise you that they do not need the defense of 11-16 year old girls. if they were bothered by this they would have explicitly spoken out at this point. the fanfiction video was not the cry for help that you all think it was. AND. they are so fucking busy; fan fictions written about them are at the bottom of their give a fuck list. infantilization of men older than you is WEIRD. every single male that has ever been on the internet has had fan fiction written about them and world war three did NOT start! your behavior is insane and embarrassing. nick matt and chris think you’re bizarre. they can defend themselves.

please losen the fuck up. please.

and : i’ve been lurking for a LONG long time. and i can very much confirm that some of these freaks making these posts and coming out against this were liking, requesting and even posting shit even worse than what they’re coming out against before it was a trend to be a weirdo infantilizating freak!! you know who you are!!!

as far as my account goes; i am unfortunately scared for my safety to post that content as people have literally had their personal information leaked.. and if you do not see an issue with that i am begging you to delete tumblr, unfollow the triplets and put the phone down. they would hate u and so do i. 💕

note: incest fics and nick fics with a female are absolutely fucking repulsive and are not okay!! that is a completely different story. i’m not okay with that i just want to make that clear .

if you have a different view that’s okay. block me or scroll! or read in secret and accidentally like one of my posts again! that’s okay too! love you i’ll write soon

[wannab-urs]

You Have Me In a Chokehold | Mr. Ben (SNL) x teacher!reader | 18+

Summary: You’re a teacher at Mr. Ben’s school and you’re sitting in the “No More Fancams” assembly freaking out because he just showed your fancam on screen… Do you think he knows it was you? (AU where he’s not in love with Ms. Jenny, the assembly just ends with him being like “please don’t do this anymore, thanks”)

WC: 2.4k

Warnings: MDNI | 18+ | SMUT | no ages implied (all legal obvi), hair pulling, sir kink, very mild degrading language, fingering, unprotected PiV (don’t be silly, wrap your willy) (also y’all are teachers, you should know better), rough-ish sex but no one gets hurt, Mr. Ben is girthy (Big Ben ;) ), brief mention of the picture of dorian gray, which deserves its own warning if you’ve ever tried to teach that book to teenagers, extreme cringe in the first half. Gets weirdly fluffy at the end so if that kills your vibe just stop reading after the uhhhh climax of the story (if you catch my drift). Sorry we support aftercare in this house. I think that’s it, love y’all, enjoy! 

It’s 8 in the morning, supposed to be first period, and the principal has called for some technology assembly. You’re unlucky enough to have first period planning, you have essays to grade, and you won’t have a spare minute for the rest of the day. But sure, let’s all go sit in the gym so the boomers can lecture the zoomers about technology use. This is a great use of everyone’s time. 

You slip into the auditorium with 5 minutes to spare, hoping to go unnoticed in the back row. You’re just about to subtly put in your airpods and watch TikToks like 90% of the students, when you hear the principal introduce Mr. Ben. This assembly suddenly became worth paying attention to. 

Ben is by far the prettiest thing to look at in this school. He’s ridiculously broad chested, always wearing these just-shy-of-too-tight button ups that he pairs with definitely-a-little-too-tight pants, accentuating his cute butt. He has toned forearms, usually peeking out of rolled up sleeves, and huge hands that he waves around in the air or clasps in front of him when he speaks. And then, despite being this big, broad, powerful looking man, he has the sweetest face. 

His eyes are soft brown, hooded and turned down a little, so he’s basically making puppy dog eyes constantly. His nose is prominent and curved and sitting above the most adorably pouty lips. His facial hair is sparse and a little patchy, but honestly it just makes him even more charming. God, you have it so bad for this man. 

Your internal drooling over Ben is interrupted by the sound of a freshman at the front of the room yelling, “Come on guuurrrrl, eat it up!” Your eyes flick to the screen beside Ben. There are two very vague tech rules followed by… Shit. 

“Do not make fancams of school staff, such as this,” says Ben, gesturing at the screen. And your stomach does a somersalt. Shit! There’s a TikTok playing on the screen, and though you can’t quite make out the username, you definitely recognize the video. That’s your fancam. And Ben looks… mortified. He looks extremely uncomfortable. 

“You have made thousands of fancams of me and i’m not sure what they mean, but I know it has to stop,” he pleads. And fuck is he looking at you? He can’t know can he? There’s absolutely no way he knows. He’s just looking out toward the back of the auditorium. Yeah. You wouldn’t want to make eye contact with a bunch of 14 years olds while pictures of you flash on the screen either. That makes perfect sense. 

“We make them because you’re our beloved and you have us a in a chokehold,” screams another student toward the front. You wish he would put you in a chokehold. GOD what is wrong with you. Pull yourself together.

“Okay, don’t say that,” Ben says, wringing his hands together in front of him. You can see that he’s clearly uncomfortable. You should delete your account. Ban him from your thoughts. You’ve crossed the line big time.

“I just don’t understand. Why do you make sparkly fast romantic montages of me every single day?” he asks. Another fancam, thankfully not yours, begins playing on the screen. You have to get out of here. 

You stand up and try to sneak out as inconspicuously as possible, whispering “Bathroom,” in response to a disapproving look from another, older teacher. 

You break into a run as soon as you get into the hall and only slow down when you’re safely locked in the handicap stall of the teacher bathroom. You slide down the wall to the floor and press your face into your hands. You are so stupid. Of course making fancams of school staff is a bad idea. It’s bad when the kids do it… and really weird because they’re kids… but when another teacher does it? He could have you fired for this. 

But he doesn’t know. There’s no way he knows. 

You manage to make it through the rest of the day, somehow facing your classes and teaching them about nouns and reading a bit more of The Picture of Dorian Gray aloud. 

It’s finally the end of the day, but you still have those essays to grade, so you decide to set a timer for one hour and power through as many as you can. The school is so weirdly silent this long after final bell. The custodians won’t be in for another couple hours and pretty much every teacher and student has long gone home. 

You finish packing your tote bag and start shrugging on your coat when you hear a knock at the door. “Come in!” 

You freeze when the door opens. Shit.

“Ben! Hi! How can I help you? I was just leaving, but-” the sharp sound of the door slamming shut cuts off your nervous rambling. Ben stands with his hands behind his back, puffing his very broad chest out. 

“I was wondering if you could tell me something, sweetheart.” His voice is low, gravelly, and you feel like you’re being raked over hot coals. He knows. 

“Um. Sure?” you squeak out. Your face is on fire and you have no idea what to do with your hands. He takes a step toward you, looking for all the world like a predator stalking it’s pray. His eyes are dark, brow lowered, lips set in a hard line. He looks nothing like the shy, uncomfortable man from the assembly. 

Your bag drops to the floor and you take a stuttering step back toward your desk. 

“What’s your TikTok username?” he asks slowly, taking another step toward you. 

You gulp and fall back another step, thighs pressing against your desk now. Your shake your head and glue your eyes to the floor. 

“Don’t make me ask again.” And oh god he’s right in front of you now. He hooks a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his. His pupils are blown so wide, you can barely see his usually warm brown irises. Wait is he turned on right now? 

“It’s- uh… I don’t have one!” you stammer out. You try to look away, but his fingers hold your chin in place. He leans a bit closer, his breath ghosting over your face, and presses his other palm into the desk beside you. He tsks and presses his thumb to your bottom lip.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls out, and oh that went straight to your core. You squirm in his hold and that’s when you truly realize how close he is. His body is nearly pressed against yours. 

“It’s- it’s… fuck. It’s MrBensLittleSlut…” you stammer out. You feel like you’re on fire, ashamed of your actions, but also incredibly fucking turned on. The object of your not-so-innocent crush has you pressed against your desk like some school girl fantasy. 

“And do you really want to be my little slut, sweetheart?” Holy. Shit. Did he really just ask you that? Your heart actually stops beating in your chest for a second. You nod. 

“Aloud, please.” 

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut. 

He brings one hand to the back of your head and wraps your hair around his fingers, pulling your head back slightly. You whimper and he leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. 

“Good girl,” he purrs. And you think you’ll melt into puddle on the spot. His hands slide to your hips and he lifts you up onto the edge of the desk. You instinctively part your legs and he presses himself flush against you. He keeps one hand on your waist to steady you and slides the other back up into your hair and suddenly his lips are on yours. 

It’s sloppy and open mouthed and greedy. He licks into your mouth, curling his tongue around yours. Your hands find purchase around his biceps and you hold on for dear life. His fist tightens in your hair and you moan wantonly, throwing your head back and pushing your hips up into his, chasing friction. 

His lips trail down your jaw and he nips at your earlobe before sucking a kiss to the spot where your jaw meets your throat. You dig your nails into his muscular arms and choke on a gasp. 

“Please,” you whine, shifting your hips against him again.

“Please what, sweetheart?” you can feel him smirking into the skin of your throat. He loves how riled up you are. Loves watching you try and fail to grind yourself on him. 

“Please- please touch me, sir,” he rolls his hips into yours, finally giving you something. Anything to ease the burning desire between your legs.

“You’re so pretty when you beg,” he growls in your ear. Then you feel his right hand leave your waist and pull up your skirt. He drags his fingertips up the inside of your left thigh, featherlight. Finally, he hooks two fingers into the soaked crotch of your panties and drags his knuckles across your clit. 

You suck in a gasp and a little “Oh” falls from your lips. He pulls back, keeping his left hand in your hair and watches as he slowly sinks two fingers into your cunt, down to the knuckle. Your hands ball up into fists, twisting the sleeves of his shirt and you let out a long, breathy moan. 

“You’re so wet for me already, sweetheart. Really are a little slut, aren’t you?” Your pussy clenches around his thick fingers at his words.

“Yes! Yes, I’m your little slut!” you gasp out.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you, hooking them just right so that he hits the spongy spot inside you every time. You’re holding onto his shirt so tight you think you might rip the sleeves off. You can hear how wet you are, the sound echoing off the cinderblock walls. You start moving your hips to meet the thrust of his fingers inside you, chasing your orgasm. 

“I’m-- I’m gonna--” you clench hard around his fingers, so close to tipping over the edge.

And then his touch is gone. He’s pulled his fingers out of you and let go of you completely, taking a step back. You let out an actual scream of frustration. “No!” you shout, slumping back until your head hits your desk. You actually pout at him.

“Not yet, sweetheart. Want you to come on my cock.” His voice is so low, you almost can’t hear him over the sound of your heaving breaths. “Sit up, pretty girl.”

You push yourself back up and take in his appearance. Other than his rumpled shirt, he looks completely unbothered. His hair is still effortlessly tousled, his face is set into a teasing smirk. The fucker didn’t even break a sweat and you’re gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Pretty girl. He called you pretty.

“Bend over the desk, sweetheart.” 

You scramble to obey his request, standing up and bending over, pushing your ass into the air. You press your forehead into the desk and try to calm your fluttering heart rate. 

Suddenly… finally… you feel his hands on you. He grabs your skirt and bunches it up around your waist. His fingertips slide into the waistband of your panties and he pushes them down, letting them settle around your ankles. You hear the clink of a belt buckle, the tug of a zipper, and then you feel him. 

He slides his cock between your clenched thighs, through the wet folds of your pussy and oh god. You can’t see him, but you can feel that he’s thick. The head of his cock presses against your clit and you moan. 

“Such a pretty little pussy… I’m going to ruin it.” You gasp, but before you can respond, he’s moving. In one fluid motion, he pulls back, kicks your feet apart, and pushes all the way into you. 

“Oh fuck,” you moan out. You might pass out from pleasure. His cock is thick, filling you up and stretching you out more than you ever have been before. He holds still inside you while you clench and unclench around his girth, trying to get used to it. “So big.” you gasp into the desk. 

“I know, baby.” And then he moves, pulling all the way out to the tip and thrusting hard, all the way back in. The force of his hips smacking against your ass jolts you into the desk, making you cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain and sprawl forward on the desk. 

Ben grabs your shoulder with one hand, tightens his grip on your hip with the other, and resumes fucking into you at an absolutely brutal pace. 

Some part of you is scared you’ll get caught, but that part is overpowered by the euphoria you feel. You’re moaning and babbling incoherently as his cock hits that sweet spot deep inside you and grinds into it with every thrust. 

“Is my. Little. Slut. Gonna. Come. on my. Cock?” Ben grits out between thrusts. 

You cry out a garbled response. Your cunt is fluttering around his thick length and your eyes are rolling into the back of your head and there’s no way you can form words right now. 

Ben wraps his arm around your chest and pulls you back against him. His cock hits something deep inside you and you come with an agonizing cry, gushing around his cock and soaking him to the base. 

Your whole body goes limp with the force of your orgasm, but he holds you up and continues fucking up into you. After a few more thrusts, he pulls out and covers your ass and thighs in his release, letting out a low groan as the thick ropes hit your skin. 

You’re lying on the desk on your stomach, naked ass still in the air. It’s a ridiculous position to lay in, but you’re still riding the high of your orgasm and too blissed out to care. You jolt as you feel silk move across your over-sensitive skin. 

“What’re you doing?” You’re so drunk on his cock, it comes out slurred.

“Cleaning you up, sweetheart,” Ben says. Is he- he’s cleaning you up with his tie. Fuck that’s hot. And sweet? 

“Thank you…” you sigh into the desk. He pulls your panties back up for you and settles your skirt back down around your legs.

“Can you sit up for me, baby?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to your feet, nestling your head into the curve of his shoulder.

It’s not fair for him to fuck you that good and go right to being the sweet, bashful man you thought you knew. 

He brushes your hair out of your face and presses a soft, almost tender, kiss to your nose. You giggle and the sound makes him break out into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his dimple peeking out behind a 5 o’clock shadow. 

“Come on, sweetheart, I’ll walk you to your car.” 

He grabs your coat and your tote bag, slips his hand into yours, and leads you out to the parking lot.

a/n: I’m so sorry. This is ridiculous and I apologize for the no plot snl character porn fic. 

Tags: @beskarandblasters @meveispunk

[sunsetsandsunshine]

PLEASE READ THIS ASK. I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

Um..... hi.

It's the Silent Giggler.

I know I'm the last person you want to see or talk to rn but I wanted to apologise properly for what I said to you earlier today.

It was rude and uncalled for. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote comment, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour.

I wanted to apologise for ruining your Halloween.

You're a really kind person and an amazing writer and I didn't appreciate that.

You're not an AI that can write everything I want all the time and it was selfish of me to even think so.

As an aspiring writer myself, I know what it's like to put your whole heart and soul into writing sth and how scary it can be to post it online because it's like you're putting your sweat, tears and a piece of your personality for everyone to see.

Deleting my old account was cowardly because it's wrong not to admit one's mistake especially if others were hurt in the process.

I want you to log out smiling instead of being even more upset than you were before you logged in.

Thank you for all the hard work you put into everything you write and I'm really sorry for what I said.

It was wrong and I did act like a bully towards you the moment I sent that comment.

You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to. I just don't want you to keep hurting after what I said to you.

PS: You don't have to answer this ask. I just wanted a chance to apologise properly to you.

Well…hello.

I appreciate the apology but I don’t think I can forgive you. I really and truly don’t know. What you said was rude and it was uncalled for and it does not in the slightest excuse your behavior towards me. 

I do not celebrate Halloween but I do celebrate Day of the Dead…which you did in fact ruin for me this year. I was mourning the losses of people I cared about and to receive your comment on my fic that I worked so fucking HARD on despite losing so many people dear to me just…made everything worse. 

I don’t think you understand but this week and month has been rough. So freaking rough but despite that I have been TRYING to post fics continuously because I care about my followers and I know how much people enjoy my work. 

I am not an AI that just…writes to write. I write from my heart but most importantly it’s a HOBBY of mine; a hobby you made me question. 

And I’m still now trying to comprehend WHY you did all of this. You’re a writer. You know full well what’s it’s like so…why? What the actual hell did I do to you? 

We are strangers. I do not know you. And for you to treat me like what you did was just…sad.

PLUS you’ve SEEN my posts about me going to be inactive and having a hard day.

And personally? I don’t log into this site smiling anymore because of people like you. You are, like, the 5th person this MONTH that has done something like this and I’m tired. 

The amount of time and work that I put into my fics mean nothing and they never will because there is always just…someone always trying to put me down. 

People don’t care about me— it’s just the work I produce and even then it doesn’t satisfy people like yourself.

You are a bully and I don’t understand what I did to get a comment like that. No offense, but I think you should know better regarding the fact that you are like…3 years older than me. 

I’m tired and I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do anymore really

[theramblingsofadork]

Hey all! I have an official update!

After a lot of careful debating and discussing, I’ve decided that I’m not going to delete this account, and will continue to post my art and Starpoint Squad AU stuff here.

I’d like to thank those who reached out to me over the past few weeks with your friendship, help, and encouragement. 💖

While the story still needs a lot of work, I was given some good insight on things I’ve been struggling with, and just talking with them helped me figure a few key things out. As a result, I’ve managed to simplify the AU, fix my issue with how Starline’s gonna be written, and separate certain events into being exclusively canon vs AU.

So… yeah! I’m back! And I’ll be honest… I’ve really missed the fun antics of the Starpoint Squad and my wholesome Rivetline ship. ; ; my beloveds.

That being said.. posts won’t be as frequent as they used to be. I’ve been really struggling to draw and write due to a persisting health issue, so I don’t think I can keep up to date with my regular schedule of posting every week.

So for now, things will mostly be just sketches or small writing/interaction scenarios, posted whenever I feel up to it.

I’m also not going to try to adhere to posting the story step by step anymore, as it was a huge hinderance. So expect random timeline jumps and references to events that haven’t been explained yet.

I also think I’m going to start off by updating my old writing, character bios, and the overall timeline to better fit with how I’m going to write things, so don’t be surprised if old posts pop in and out of existence and things change. :)

⭐️ I also started a Twitter/X account! For the time being, I’ll only be posting my OCs there. This could change in the future, but if you’re interested in any of them (especially their canon lore), then that’s the place to see them.

And yeah! We’ll see how this second third attempt goes! With any luck, this will be the one that works. (I’m so stubborn, lol)

My one year anniversary since getting into IDW and starting this AU passed already, but I think a fresh start is a good way to celebrate it. ^^ 🤙

Till next time.

-Ramble